105. I Shed Remorseful Tears Before the Word of Almighty God
Zhoukou City, Henan Province
I was once a co-worker of the “Justification by Faith Church.” In those years, I read many materials of slandering and blaspheming the “Eastern Lightning” and heard many rumors that defamed this way, such as these: “The ‘Eastern Lightning’ is a false Christ, a deceiver, and if anyone withdraws from them after accepting it, they will gouge out his eyes or break his legs;” “There is poison in their books, and one will be ‘under a spell’ and follow them muddleheaded after reading the books;” and so on. So, I hated the followers of the “Eastern Lightning” to the core and avoided them like the plague. To prevent the brothers and sisters from being deceived and prove my loyalty to the Lord, I did my utmost to spread rumors, and I often warned the believers: Be cautious of the “Eastern Lightning”; never receive strangers!
I remembered that in April 1996, an elderly co-worker invited me to his home. While chatting, he took out a book and let me read it. I flipped through it absently. Suddenly, I saw the words “the incarnate God” in the book. I was alarmed in my heart: This is the book of the “Lightning” sect! Immediately, I pulled a long face and reproached him bitterly, “Where did you get the book? We’ve believed in Jesus for so many years and are preachers. We should have discernment. We mustn’t be deceived by them! …” And I ordered him to return the book that very day.
Not long afterward, an unfamiliar brother came to preach to me, “The Lord has come back and has done a stage of new work…” Hearing that, I immediately became angry and said, “Who told you that the Lord has come? Who will be deceived by your such ‘lies’? Jesus is obvious a male, but the God you believe in is a female. I’m not a three-year old child. Can I be deceived by you? Even if my parents came to preach to me, I wouldn’t believe, to say nothing of you!” Not allowing him to say anything more, I slammed the door and shut him in the room, ran into the yard angrily, and pulled off the valves of his bicycle tires. And I said fiercely, “I’ll see whether you’ll preach or not.” Seeing that it was impossible to continue the talk, he begged me, “Brother, please get me a bicycle pump. It’s getting dark. My home is over ten li away.” I flew into a temper and roared at him, “Hold your jaw! Get out! If you come again, I won’t be so easy on you!” Having no choice, the brother pushed the deflated bicycle and left in tears…
The next morning, my arms somehow suddenly ached severely and couldn’t lift. I immediately prayed to the Lord, “O Lord, I’ve been utterly loyal to You. Why do You discipline me in such a way? Did I do anything wrong? …” After praying, I remembered what I had said and done to that brother and felt much condemned in my conscience: “Was I like a believer in the Lord by doing that? Did I observe the Lord’s teachings? The Lord Jesus required us to love our enemies and forgive others seventy times seven. But what did I do? I was simply like a ruffian, a rascal, and a base person. I not only had no love for him, but even let his bicycle tires down. Ay, I was really…” Suddenly, I remembered the hearsay about the “Eastern Lightning” in the “materials” and those rumors with vivid details, and then my slight regret disappeared.
Nevertheless, God, who loves man, didn’t abandon me but saved me, a disobedient son, once again. One day, while I was reading the Bible at home, that brother came again. I immediately stood up and tried to drive him out. “Get out! Get out quickly! Since last time you came, my arm ached for several days and couldn’t lift…” But the brother refused to leave even though I shouted vicious words and pushed and shoved him hard. Later, seeing that I was going to throw a fit again, he even knelt down with a flop on the floor and prayed to God in tears, “O Almighty God! To save us people who live in sin, You came from heaven to earth and are enduring all the sufferings and humiliations. Who among men can understand Your thoughtful and kind intention? There are so many people believing in You today, yet who among them can know You? Where are those who genuinely love You? O Almighty God! To bring the brother before You, I’m willing to endure sufferings and humiliations, no matter how great they are! O Almighty God! May You work on him and open his heart so that he can listen to Your voice and understand Your present will! …” Hearing the brother’s prayers in a tearful voice, I remembered the scene of his leaving in tears last time, and my sense of conscience was gradually recovered in my self-reproaches. I couldn’t help thinking to myself, “He is almost 50 years old. But he even knelt down and prayed for me in bitter tears. What for? I treat him in this way, but he still treats me with love and patience. Where does his love come from? The Scripture says that ‘God is love.’ ‘Love’ can only come from God. Could it be that the God they believe in is the true God and the way they preach is the true way?” Then, I also thought of what happened to my arm last time, and I felt somewhat afraid. So I hurried to help the brother up to sit on the bed and spoke out my mind, “Brother, I’m not willing to resist God. I’m just afraid of taking a wrong way and ending up with nothing after believing in the Lord for many years!” He wiped his tears and sobbed, “Wood cannot be born through without being drilled, and words won’t be clear without being explained. If my fellowship is in accordance with the truth, you can listen, and if not, you can refuse to listen.” I thought what he said was reasonable, so I nodded. Then the brother fellowshipped from Genesis all the way to Revelation, giving a detailed fellowship of God’s three stages of work. His fellowship was well-founded and logical, and I was deeply attracted. So, I put forward the questions I didn’t understand, “Why do you say that the Lord has been incarnated again? Is there any biblical basis for that?” The brother said, “In Luke 17:24-25, it is written, ‘For as the lightning, that lightens out of the one part under heaven, shines to the other part under heaven; so shall also the Son of man be in his day. But first must he suffer many things, and be rejected of this generation.’ ‘The Son of man’ mentioned here means that He is a normal person who is born of man and has the human likeness. The spiritual body cannot be called ‘the Son of man.’ Jehovah and Jesus are both God, but only Jesus can be called ‘the Son of man’ and Jehovah cannot. It is because Jesus is the flesh God’s Spirit is clothed with, He has the full divinity and normal humanity, and He can eat and stay and live together with man. Jehovah, however, only has the full divinity, and He can only appear to man in the form of the Spirit, so He cannot be called ‘the Son of man.’ Moreover, only when God is incarnated and comes among men will He suffer and be rejected by this generation. How could the Spirit suffer? And how could the Spirit be rejected by this generation? From the prophecy we can see that the Lord will surely come through incarnation when He returns.” Hearing the brother’s fellowship, I was really ashamed, “I have preached for many years, but why don’t I know these?” The brother continued, “The Scripture says that there will be false Christs coming out to deceive people in the last days. Then there must be men who pretend to be Christ and so they are called false Christs. If the true God came in the form of the Spirit and not in the flesh, how could men of flesh counterfeit Him? And why did the Lord Jesus prophesy that in the last days false Christs would come out? Doesn’t it even more prove that the Lord was giving His disciples the hint that He would still be incarnated when He came again?” His explanation was reasonable and irrefutable, and I was sincerely convinced.
Then the brother took out a book of God’s word and read these words: “God’s saving of man is not done directly through the means of the Spirit or as the Spirit, for His Spirit can neither be touched nor seen by man, and cannot be approached by man. If He tried to save man directly in the manner of the Spirit, man would be unable to receive His salvation. And if not for God putting on the outward form of a created man, they would be unable to receive this salvation. For man can in no way approach Him, much like how none could go near the cloud of Jehovah. Only by becoming a man of creation, that is, putting His ‘word’ into the flesh He will become, can He personally work the ‘word’ into all who follow Him. Only then can man hear for himself His word, see His word, and receive His word, then through this be fully saved.” “God became flesh because the object of His work is not the spirit of Satan, or any incorporeal thing, but man, who is of the flesh and has been corrupted by Satan. … Man is a mortal being, is of flesh and blood, and God is the only One who can save man. In this way, God must become a flesh that possesses the same attributes as man in order to do His work, so that His work might achieve better effects. … For those to be saved, the use value of the Spirit is far inferior to that of the flesh: The work of the Spirit is able to cover the entire universe, across all mountains, rivers, lakes, and oceans, yet the work of the flesh more effectively relates to every person with whom He has contact. What’s more, God’s flesh with tangible form can better be understood and trusted by man, and can further deepen man’s knowledge of God, and can leave upon man a more profound impression of the actual deeds of God. … It has accurate guidance of words, has clear will, and has clear required goals. And so man does not need to grope around, or employ his imagination, much less make guesses. This is the clarity of the work in the flesh…. The work that is of greatest value to corrupt man is that which provides accurate words, clear goals to pursue, and which can be seen and touched. Only realistic work and timely guidance are suited to man’s tastes, and only real work can save man from his corrupt and depraved disposition. This can only be achieved by the incarnate God; only the incarnate God can save man from his formerly corrupt and depraved disposition.” Almighty God’s words made me know more clearly about the purpose and significance of God’s incarnation. I couldn’t help hating myself for being so ignorant that I judged God’s work according to my imaginations and notions. Wasn’t that serious resistance to God? Wasn’t that blasphemy to God’s Spirit? Wasn’t I the same as the Pharisees of that time?
Regarding the question “why God is incarnated as a female when He returns,” the brother read two passages of God’s word: “If God was only incarnated as a male, people would define Him as male, as the God of men, and would never believe Him to be the God of women. Then, men would believe that God is of the same gender as men, that God is the head of men—and what of women? This is unfair; is it not preferential treatment? If this were the case, then all those whom God saved would be men like Him, and there would be no salvation for women. When God created mankind, He created Adam and He created Eve. He did not create only Adam, but made both male and female in His image. God is not only the God of men, He is also the God of women.” “Each stage of work done by God has a real significance. When Jesus arrived, He was male, and this time He is female. From this, you can see that God created both male and female for His work and with Him there is no distinction of gender. When His Spirit arrives, He can take on any flesh at will and the flesh represents Him. Be it male or female, both represent God as long as it is His incarnate flesh.” Hearing that, I was enlightened and became clear-minded. God’s work is so wonderful and unfathomable. Although it counters man’s notion and is beyond man’s expectation, it is far too significant. I also saw that I was so poor, blind, ignorant, and without any sense. I even measured God’s work by my notion. I really ridiculously overrated myself like an ant trying to topple a giant tree. I was such a shameless and contemptible wretch!
God’s word and the brother’s fellowship made me completely drop my notion. Thinking of my deeds of resisting Almighty God, I couldn’t help regretting bitterly and knelt on the floor and prayed to God in bitter tears, “O Almighty God! I’m really ignorant and extremely muddled! I believe in You and expect You to come back, yet after You come back, I have condemned and blasphemed You in various ways and greatly sealed off the church and spread fallacies and heresies. I have deceived so many brothers and sisters and treated the brother who preaches Your good news to me viciously. I’m really a scum guilty of the most heinous sin, worse than a beast! According to my evil deeds, I really deserve to be cursed and should be cast into hell…” I choked and couldn’t say any more. The brother helped me up with tears and comforted me, “God desires all men to be saved and not one to perish. As long as we repent sincerely and make a fresh start, God will not remember our past!” With tears, I excitedly accepted the book, Almighty God’s personal utterance, and came under the name of Almighty God, Christ of the last days, since then.
Through eating and drinking more words of God, I understood many mysteries in the Bible that I didn’t understand before, and understood the purpose and significance of God’s work in each age, how mankind has developed until today, where mankind’s destination is, how man should worship God and love God, what likeness a believer in God should have, how man should cast off his corrupt dispositions to become holy and enter into the rest with God, and so on. Every word of God is precious and soul-stirring and makes me ponder. At that point, I woke up: It is utterly a rumor to say that there is poison in the book of the “Eastern Lightning.” The book doesn’t contain poison, but God’s word pierces into people’s hearts and completely conquers them, so they can hardly bear to part with it and it becomes the bread of life for them as three meals of a day. When having meetings, I saw that the brothers and sisters spoke properly and sensibly and loved each other as their family members, from which I tasted the sweetness of God’s love. Once, as a sister failed to attend several meetings because of her family affairs, the brothers and sisters felt anxious about her. They prayed for her together, and then went to her home to ask what actually happened for fear that she might suffer loss in her life. That made me completely awakened: This is the true portrait of the brothers and sisters’ loving and caring for and supporting each other. Those shocking rumors in the “materials,” such as, “gouge your eyes out” and “break your legs,” are purely made out of nothing and are vicious slanders and blasphemies against God’s Spirit! Thinking that my blind trust of the slanders in the “materials” almost ruined my life, I was even more remorseful: O Almighty God! I am extremely corrupt, but You are magnanimous and don’t remember my past resistance and sent the brother to save me, a disobedient son. I can do nothing but to dedicate my whole being and cooperate with You to bring all those brothers and sisters whom I have bound in darkness before You, so as to make up for my past indebtedness to You!
Dear brothers and sisters, this is the confession of me, a disobedient son who once resisted and later accepted Almighty God. I hope that you can draw a lesson from my experience and do not follow in my footsteps anymore! Do not believe those false testimonies in the “materials” and the hearsay and those deceitful lies. They can only cause you to run to hell and take a path of no return. Now, God’s day is coming soon. Turn back from the wrong path immediately! Almighty God says: “The work of God never waits for any that cannot keep pace with God, and the righteous disposition of God shows no mercy to any man.”