118. I Was Conquered by Almighty God’s Word During My Resisting Him
Shuangyashan City, Heilongjiang Province
I was formerly a key co-worker of the Justification by Faith Church, and I lived in Shuangyashan City. In 1992, I turned to the Lord Jesus because of my wife’s long-term illness. Not long afterward, my wife gradually grew better, and a year later she recovered. To repay the Lord’s love, my wife and I pursued hard, and we never lagged behind in attending meetings and preaching the gospel. Later, I was assigned by our church to work in other places and support the churches there all year round. At that time, I was full of enthusiasm and felt that believing in the Lord was the most meaningful thing and at no time would I leave the Lord.
In 1998, without knowing why, the brothers and sisters in the churches were not eager to attend meetings anymore. Some returned to the world to make money; some were plagued by their family and turned away from the Lord. I also felt depressed in spirit, and neither my love nor faith could compare with before. However, as a preacher, I couldn’t show my weakness before the brothers and sisters, so I had to force myself to grin and bear it.
Right at that time, Sister Zhang, a co-worker in Jiamusi area, told us, “Now there appears a sect called ‘Eastern Lightning.’ They are very dangerous. As long as you get in touch with them, you will be deceived. These people are extremely brutal. If you refuse to accept their way, they will gouge out your eyes, cut off your nose, and then throw you in the wilderness. They are preaching another gospel by a different name from Jesus. It is purely a false christ….” At this, I began to hate “Eastern Lightning” from the depth of my heart. I cursed the people of “Eastern Lightning” every day in my prayers, asking the Lord to punish them and wipe them out quickly lest the brothers and sisters who believed in Jesus be deceived. Because of the matter of resisting “Eastern Lightning,” I, a person who had been weak for a long time, seemed to be suddenly injected with stimulants and began to be busy again. I thought to myself, “It’s time for me to be faithful to the Lord. This time I’ll definitely give an excellent account of myself.” So, I preached that “Eastern Lightning” was a heresy and an evil spirit on and off the platform and also closed the churches everywhere to outsiders. Whenever I heard that there were people of “Eastern Lightning” somewhere, I would run there at all costs and drive them away. Besides, I often tailed them like a plainclothesman.
In October 1999, a brother of our church accepted “Eastern Lightning.” After I knew that, I immediately brought along a co-worker to dissuade him. Unexpectedly, he not only didn’t repent but also advised me to investigate with a humble heart. I was so angry that I cursed “Eastern Lightning” and that brother with the co-worker right on the spot. Immediately after that, I notified all the churches of that brother’s name and expelled him from the church.
On April 15, 2001, I went to work in the church of Shuangyashan Power Plant with several co-workers. Seeing that there were two strangers there, I suspected that they were of “Eastern Lightning.” So I drove them out at once. I questioned the co-worker in that church angrily, “Do you know them? If they are of ‘Eastern Lightning’ and the brothers and sisters are deceived by them, how do you give account to the Lord Jesus? From now on, don’t receive anyone you don’t know, whoever he is!” After saying that, I went to chase them with several co-workers without even attending the meeting. Yet we failed after running a long distance. Then, I warned the brothers and sisters in that church again and again, telling them to guard strictly against “Eastern Lightning.”
In August, those two strangers went to the home of a co-worker of Qixing Mine church to preach the end-time gospel but were driven out by that co-worker. After I learned it, I immediately informed the brothers and sisters in all the churches, “Whenever you come across the people of ‘Eastern Lightning’ who come to preach the way or give you the book, beat them out. Call the police to arrest them if they don’t leave.” During that period of time, we only preached about how to guard against “Eastern Lightning” in meetings, and I also repeatedly emphasized on the platform that the one we believed in was Jesus and there was no other name by which we could be saved. To stop the brothers and sisters from getting in touch with the people of “Eastern Lightning,” we compiled a booklet called Track the Wolf’s Trace and distributed it to every church. I felt that only by doing so could I be regarded as faithful to the Lord. I thought to myself, “Now, the brothers and sisters won’t be deceived.” But not long afterward, I heard that Sister Si, the most devout believer in God in the church, had accepted “Eastern Lightning.” I was extremely surprised. “This sister pursues exceptionally well at usual times, how come she has been deceived?” I couldn’t help feeling sorry and sad for her. Because of that, I even more hated “Eastern Lightning.” I thought to myself, “Even if the people all over the world believe in ‘Eastern Lightning,’ I will not believe in it.”
In January 2002, during a meeting, I stepped onto the platform and was about to give a sermon I had prepared on “1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 Churches Being Caught Up.” I took a glance at the crowd and suddenly saw that Sister Si was also among the people who were listening to the message. I got a slight shock and immediately changed the sermon to “Galatians 3:1-10 You Foolish Galatians” to warn the brothers and sisters. After the meeting, I put up my hand and cursed “Eastern Lightning” and asked all the brothers and sisters to curse it too. Seeing that only Sister Si didn’t do so, I asked all the brothers and sisters to curse her. At that time, a co-worker rushed to her, grabbed her collar, and dragged her out fiercely. Afterward, I informed all the churches about Sister Si and also expelled her from the church.
One day in mid-March, while I was reading the Bible at home, I suddenly heard someone knock at the door. I opened the door, took a look, and froze. They were Sister Si and an unfamiliar old sister. I felt very surprised and became alert at the same time. Sister Si said, “Brother Li, we want to have a fellowship with you.” I thought to myself, “How much of the Bible do you know that you even dare to fellowship with me?” But then I thought, “These people of ‘Eastern Lightning’ are utterly detestable. They have deceived so many people. Just let me see how they deceive people.” So, I invited them into the room with a crafty and haughty heart. I looked that old sister up and down but didn’t find anything special in her. She appeared sober and natural and began to talk with ease and fluency, “The Lord once prophesied in the Bible that he would come the second time. Now the Lord has already come and has done a new work. …” She fellowshipped a lot, but I just listened perfunctorily and didn’t take her words seriously at all. When she fellowshipped that this time God had opened the little scroll mentioned in Revelation, I suddenly thought of a way to deal with “Eastern Lightning.” I thought to myself, “I must deceive them out of this book to find out why it can deceive so many people, so that I can expose the inside story of ‘Eastern Lightning’ and stop them deceiving people again.” So, I pretended to be seeking and asked, “Do you have the little scroll? Can I have a look?” … After I got the book, I felt very pleased with myself and thought, “This time, I must bring the whole thing to light and reveal the inside story and true colors of yours. I’ll see how you can deceive people in the future.”
After they left, I threw the book to the ground, stepped on it with my feet, put up my hands, and cursed the book and the preachers of “Eastern Lightning” in the name of Jesus. After that, I asked my wife to step on the book and curse them one more time. I felt very pleased and was completely at ease after doing that. Then, I picked up the book and opened it to read. “Your faithfulness is on your lips, your knowledge is in your thinking and notions, and your labor is for the blessings of heaven. So what can your faith be like? Now faced with these words of truth, you still take a disregarding attitude. You do not know what God is or what Christ is….” When I read those words, I was extremely angry. I thought to myself, “You say I don’t know what Christ is, aren’t you looking down on me?” I slapped the book to the ground, picked it up, and threw it to the ground again. I did that three times, but it still didn’t slake my hatred. So I picked up the book again and threw it against the wall with all my might. I threw it many times until the edge of the book was damaged. At that time, my heart was completely filled with hatred. When my wife saw me like that, she advised me, “Since the book made you so mad, why don’t you just give it back?” I immediately said, “No way! I swear I won’t give up until I check it out!” Then, I told myself to calm down and picked up the book to read again. During the process of reading, sometimes my heart beat fast with anger, sometimes I was gripped, and sometimes I was seized with fear and trembling…. I vaguely sensed that the words in this book were not what a human being could say. However, I was still unwilling to admit that they were God’s words. So, I continued reading and folded the pages where I had questions. But the more I read it, the fewer questions I had. When I read these words, which say, “God’s incarnation has shaken every sect and circle, ‘disturbed’ the original order of all religious circles, and shaken the heart of every one who thirsts after God’s appearing. Who does not adore him? Who does not look forward to seeing God? God has been to the world personally for many years, but people have never discovered. Today, God Godself has appeared and made his identity known to people; how could this not make their heart joyful? God once shared sorrows and joys with people. Now he reunites with mankind, and talks about the old days with them. Since God left Judea, there had been no news about him, and all people expected to meet with him again. Little did they expect that they could meet him again and reunite with him today. How could they not think back to yesterday? Two thousand years ago, Simon Barjona, a son of the Jews, saw the Savior Jesus and dined with him at the same table. He followed Jesus for years and had a deeper and deeper friendship with Jesus, and he loved Jesus deep in his heart and loved the Lord Jesus deeply.” I somewhat woke up. I thought, “Has the Lord Jesus come back?” I continued reading. The book says, “You should choose your way. Do not do things of blaspheming the Holy Spirit and rejecting the truth. Do not be ignorant and arrogant people, but be ones who obey the guidance of the Holy Spirit and thirst for and seek the truth. Only this will be good for you. I advise that you should cautiously walk the path of believing in God. Do not make judgments rashly, much less believe in God casually and carelessly. You ought to know that a believer in God should at least have a meek heart and a God-fearing heart. Those who hear the truth but turn up their noses at it are all foolish and ignorant people. Those who hear the truth but casually make judgments about it or condemn it are all arrogant people. As a believer in Jesus, no one has the right to curse or condemn others. You all should be ones who have sense and accept the truth. Maybe after you hear the way of truth and read the words of life, you think that only one ten thousandth of these words agree with your thought or with the Bible. Then you should continue to seek in this one ten thousandth of the words. Again I advise you to be a meek person. Do not be too self-confident, and do not be too self-important. In what little fear of God you have, you will receive greater light. Investigate carefully and ponder repeatedly, and you will understand whether these words are the truth and the life.” At these words, I became somewhat afraid. “Could it be that the ‘Eastern Lightning’ I have been resisting is the true God?” I dared not go on thinking, so I continued reading. It says, “In each age and in each stage of work, my name has representative meaning and is not without a basis. That is, each name represents one age. ‘Jehovah’ represents the Age of the Law and is a respectful address by which the Israelites called the God they worshiped. ‘Jesus’ represents the Age of the Grace and is the name of the God of all those who were redeemed in the Age of the Grace. If in the end time people still expect that the Savior Jesus would descend and descend still in the image that he had in Judea, then the entire six-thousand-year management plan would stop at the Age of the Redemption and could not advance any further, and the end time would never come and the age would never end. This is because ‘Jesus the Savior’ is only the One who redeemed mankind and saved mankind, and I took the name ‘Jesus’ only for the sake of all the sinners in the Age of the Grace, not for the purpose of ending the whole mankind. Although Jehovah, Jesus, and Messiah all represent my Spirit, these several names only represent the different ages in my management plan and do not represent my all. The names by which people on earth call me cannot thoroughly express all my disposition and being, and it is only that they call me by different addresses in different ages. So when the final age, that is, the last age, comes, my name will still change. I will not be called Jehovah or Jesus, much less Messiah, but the powerful Almighty God Godself, with which name I will end the entire age. I was once called Jehovah and was also once called Messiah by people, and people also once called me the Savior Jesus out of love and esteem for me. Today, I am no longer Jehovah or Jesus whom people knew before but the God who has returned in the end time and who will end the age and the God Godself who arises in the ends of the earth, laden with all my disposition and full of authority, honor, and glory. People have never contacted me nor known me or known about my disposition. From the creation of the world until now, no one has ever seen me. This is the God who appears to people in the end time and yet is hidden among them, living among them true and real, like a burning sun and like a flaming fire, full of power and full of authority. No man and no thing will not be judged in my word. Under the burning of fire, no man and no thing will not be purified. In the end, all nations will be blessed because of my word and will also be crushed because of my word, so that all people in the end time will see that I am the Return of the Savior and I am the Almighty God who conquers all mankind, and that all people will see that I was once man’s sin offering, but in the end time I become the fire of the burning sun that burns all things and the Sun of righteousness that reveals all things. This is my work in the end time.” When I read these words, without knowing why, tears streamed down my face and my heart was brightened all at once. I clearly knew that the “Eastern Lightning” whom I had been resisting and cursing was precisely the Lord Jesus whom I had been expecting day and night. By then I was extremely remorseful. I beat my head continuously with my fists, hating myself for being so foolish and blind that I believed in God yet did not know God. I drew conclusions about God according to my little knowledge of the Bible and the imagination in my mind, believing that God’s name would never change. I had done too many monstrous things and had become a wicked servant resisting God. At that time, I held the book of God’s word, falling down before God, and burst into tears, “O God! According to my actions and deeds, it won’t be unfair for me to be torn to shreds, because I am a person guilty of the most heinous sin. I once blasphemed you and resisted you, I once cursed the brothers and sisters who preached the end-time gospel, and I once stepped on the book and cursed your word arrogantly. I am simply not human and do not deserve to be called a human. I really deserve to die ten thousand times. O God! You didn’t strike me down according to my transgressions. This is your extremely great patience and mercy. I can do nothing but offer the rest of my life before you and let you use me at will as an ox or a horse.”
Dear brothers and sisters, the above are my true experiences and also the most unforgettable things in my life. I sincerely advise the brothers and sisters in the Lord: Never believe the rumors and the words in the booklet blindly. Do not draw any conclusion about God’s work according to your imaginations. Drop yourself and humble yourself to seek and investigate! Almighty God is indeed the last Christ, and the word he expresses is the truth, the way, and the life, through which we can gain eternal life. As long as we have a heart that fears and seeks God, we will recognize that Almighty God is precisely the returned Savior Jesus we have been earnestly expecting for many years, and will recognize the trumpet call of the truth and receive the salvation of Almighty God.