51 I Was an Arch-criminal Who Hindered the “Lambs” from Hearing God’s Voice
Benxi City, Liaoning Province
I was once a preacher in the Three Grades of Servants Church. At the end of 1996, after the Three Grades of Servants Church collapsed, I joined the Justification by Faith Church and was selected the elder. In March 1999, I accepted the work of the last days of Almighty God. It was the words of Almighty God that opened the door of my heart, melted my hardened heart, and awakened my spirit in deep sleep so that I knew that I was an evil servant and an arch-criminal who hindered the lambs from hearing God’s voice.
I turned to the Lord through grace in 1988. After believing in the Lord for three days, I began to rush about preaching with the preachers. I pursued very zealously. In 1994, I heard the co-workers say that some people were preaching that God had come and been incarnated to be the Son of man and that we mustn’t believe it. The servant also told us, “It is absolutely impossible that God has come, because now is not the time. In the last days there are false Christs coming out to deceive people and you must not be deceived. Remember! Don’t receive outsiders, not even your relatives. You must keep an eye on the sheep. If you lose one, we cannot give account when the Lord comes.” Since then I had imitated his way, sealing off the churches heavily. After I joined the Justification by Faith Church, I still recklessly slandered the “Eastern Lightning” on the platform, saying, “These people are frightening. Their hands are with electricity. If they touch you, you cannot get rid of them. Once they fix their eyes on you, they will not let you go. They have a thick skin, and a machine gun cannot shoot through it. Once you talk to them, you will join them. After you join them, you cannot withdraw. If you want to withdraw, they will gouge out your eyes, cut off your nose or ears, or break your arms or legs. Except for the Justification by Faith Church, all others are heresies. When the Lord comes, He will only save us in the Justification by Faith Church. You mustn’t go anywhere, much less join the ‘Eastern Lightning.’” After speaking these, I, with my co-workers, distributed such adverse publicity materials as Curfew, Guard the True Way, About Heresies, and so on.
On the platform, I spread rumors, blasphemed, and resisted; off the platform, I did my best to disturb and demolish by my power and influence.
One day, two brothers came to my house and said, “Sister, do you know that God has begun doing the work of judgment?” I asked, “Where is He doing it?” They answered, “On the earth.” After hearing this, I immediately said, “You get out of here. You can never get me to join a cult! You say God has been incarnated the second time; I will by no means accept and never believe it. Do not come to deceive people again.” I rudely “asked” them to get out. However, people still kept coming to my house to preach God’s gospel of the last days. Whenever they mentioned anything about God’s work of the last days, I didn’t allow them to continue and immediately drove them out. Exactly how many people I had driven out I cannot count.
I remember that there was a young sister who came to our church to preach God’s new work of the last days. After being stopped by me, she persuaded me, saying, “Sister, we cannot lead the brothers and sisters forever. We believe in God and expect God to come. Now God has come, and we should drop our notions and our position and seek carefully! We belong to God, the sheep also belong to God, and the church belongs to God all the more, and they should not be possessed by any man. No man can supply the life of the brothers and sisters. Only Christ of the last days is our true shepherd, and only Christ of the last days is the truth, the way, and the life…” “Shut up! Don’t talk rot.” I interrupted her savagely. The co-workers came up to push and shove her out. The young sister left tearfully, looking back constantly as she walked away. However I was pleased with myself like a victorious general.
Once, over thirty people in a church accepted God’s work of the last days. On hearing that, I sent two co-workers to go check. They two went to the homes of these brothers and sisters and, like bandits and robbers, they roared and rummaged through the boxes and chests, looking for the books, and they even picked locks in the name of the Lord and burned all the books they found. At that time, I didn’t understand why still so many people accepted even though we sealed off the churches and disturbed every day. That was really incredible! I was even more puzzled that those who believed in Almighty God preached the gospel despite heat, cold, wind, or rain. Some of them were put into prison, but after they were released, they still came to preach. Some even knelt down in rain and pled that as long as we could read God’s word and listen to their fellowship, they were even willing to die for us. Such sincerity, however, did not soften my hardened heart at all. I was cruel like a cold-blooded animal. I remained impenitent and got deeper and deeper on the way of resisting God.
Because of my vehement resistance against the work of Almighty God, God’s disciplines had never left me. I remember that once I went with several co-workers to listen to an old servant’s preaching about how to guard against the “Eastern Lightning.” On our way back, I was determined to keep a close watch on the flock and not let one lamp be lost. Then suddenly we had a car accident, and two of us were injured slightly. On another occasion, we went to a church in a car to preach how to resist the “Eastern Lightning.” On the way, the car crashed into the middle of two wheels of a big tip lorry and was bounced back. The car was badly damaged and we failed to go there. One day, when I rode a bicycle to work, I hit someone accidentally and paid five hundred yuan in compensation. One evening, on my way back home after working, I encountered an evil driver. I was wounded in the head and narrowly escaped a disaster… With punishments and chastenings coming to me one after another, I almost collapsed. I came before God and prayed, “O God, where are You? Why have I lost Your keeping and got into such a painful state? I’ve been preaching and working for You through wind and rain to resist the ‘cult’ and guard the flock, but why have I encountered such things? Have I gone wrong? May You guide me so that I will know the way I should walk…” After prayer, I pondered, “What mistake have I made? Why do those who believe in Almighty God have so much love and always earnestly ask us to listen to their fellowship and read the book? What is the book about?” I was very perplexed despite much thought.
In March 1999, due to God’s wonderful arrangement, I again met the brothers and sisters who preached God’s gospel of the last days, but my heart was tightened and I was on my guard. When one brother fellowshipped with me, I was not convinced. I couldn’t take in anything he fellowshipped about. I said to the brother, “Don’t talk about it anymore. I won’t believe it. I firmly believe in the way of the Justification by Faith. It is impossible that God has come now.” The brother said, “Sister, we should not live in ‘impossible.’ People in the age of Noah thought that it could not rain, so those who did not believe were drown by the flood. Lot’s two sons-in-law thought that God could not destroy the city with fire. So they stayed in the city with the unbelievers and were destroyed in the sea of fire together with the city. When Jesus worked, the Jews thought that Jesus could not be Messiah and thus crucified Jesus, bringing about the misery of the destruction of their nation. Today when God comes, people don’t think it possible, so they condemn and resist Almighty God. What is the consequence of offending God? Now in all denominations and sects the believers’ love has grown cold, and the churches have become desolate. In the outside world, disasters happened everywhere. All these have exactly fulfilled the Biblical prophecies about God’s coming again in the last days. As it says, ‘… a wise man’s heart discerns both time and judgment.’ (Ecclesiastes 8:5) I hope you do not draw a conclusion rashly and will seek and investigate.” I cut him off arrogantly, “It is obviously false. Why should I seek and investigate? Do not deceive me. Those who believe that God has come are simply muddleheads and have no discernment at all. When we got back those in our church who had believed, we burned more than thirty books (but I had never seen what the book was like).” On hearing this, the brother shed tears and said with a lumpy throat, “Sister, do you know what books you burned? It is what the Holy Spirit says to the churches, which is prophesied in the Revelation! (Revelation 2:7, 11, 17, 29; 3:13, 22) It is a fact that God has been incarnated the second time…” When I heard that God has come in the flesh, I jumped off the kang, which startled the brother. I asked, “Have you seen God come? It’s absolutely a heresy.” Then I pushed the door and wanted to leave. Just at that moment, I suddenly remembered the prayer I made before God that day and the car accidents and the trouble from the evil driver… “What is this all about? Has God really come?” Thinking of these, I decided to listen lest I miss the opportunity. So I sat down again. The brother continued to say, “Sister, God is faithful, and He does what He says and accomplishes what He does. No matter whether today we acknowledge the fact of God’s coming or not, God still does the work of judgment and purification with His word…” Then the brother handed me a book of God’s word solemnly. I opened the book, and read these words of God: “God became flesh because the object of His work is not the spirit of Satan, or any incorporeal thing, but man, who is of the flesh and has been corrupted by Satan. It is precisely because the flesh of man has been corrupted that God has made fleshly man the object of His work; moreover, because man is the object of corruption, He has made man the only object of His work throughout all the stages of His salvation work. Man is a mortal being, is of flesh and blood, and God is the only One who can save man. In this way, God must become a flesh that possesses the same attributes as man in order to do His work, so that His work might achieve better effects.” “For those to be saved, the use value of the Spirit is far inferior to that of the flesh: The work of the Spirit is able to cover the entire universe, across all mountains, rivers, lakes, and oceans, yet the work of the flesh more effectively relates to every person with whom He has contact. What’s more, God’s flesh with tangible form can better be understood and trusted by man, and can further deepen man’s knowledge of God, and can leave upon man a more profound impression of the actual deeds of God. The work of the Spirit is shrouded in mystery, it is difficult for mortal beings to fathom, and even harder for them to see, and so they can only rely on hollow imaginings. The work of the flesh, however, is normal, and based on reality, and possessed of rich wisdom, and is a fact that can be beheld by the physical eye of man; man can personally experience the wisdom of the work of God, and has no need to employ his bountiful imagination. This is the accuracy and real value of the work of God in the flesh. The Spirit can only do things that are invisible to man and difficult for him to imagine, for example the enlightenment of the Spirit, the moving of the Spirit, and the guidance of the Spirit, but for man who has a mind, these do not provide any clear meaning. They only provide a moving, or a broad meaning, and cannot give an instruction with words. The work of God in the flesh, however, is greatly different: It has accurate guidance of words, has clear will, and has clear required goals. And so man does not need to grope around, or employ his imagination, much less make guesses. This is the clarity of the work in the flesh….” “For all of those who live in the flesh, changing their disposition requires goals to pursue, and knowing God requires witnessing the real deeds and the real face of God. Both can only be achieved by God’s incarnate flesh, and both can only be accomplished by the normal and real flesh. This is why the incarnation is necessary, and why it is needed by all corrupt mankind.” “Therefore, corrupt mankind is more in need of the salvation of the incarnate God, and is more in need of the direct work of the incarnate God. Mankind needs the incarnate God to shepherd him, support him, water him, feed him, judge and chastise him, and he needs more grace and greater redemption from the incarnate God. Only God in the flesh can be the confidant of man, the shepherd of man, the very present help of man, and all of this is the necessity of incarnation today and in times past.” (from “Corrupt Mankind Is More in Need of the Salvation of God Incarnated in the ‘Flesh’” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) “So this work, if not done through incarnation, would not achieve the slightest results and would not be able to fully save sinners. If God does not become flesh, He remains the Spirit both invisible and intangible to man. Man is a creature of flesh, and man and God belong to two different worlds and are different in nature. The Spirit of God is incompatible with man of flesh, and no ‘relations’ can be established between them; moreover, man cannot become a spirit. As such, the Spirit of God must become one of the creatures and do His original work. God can both ascend to the highest place and humble Himself by becoming a man of creation, doing work and living among man, but man cannot ascend to the highest place and become a spirit and much less can he descend to the lowest place. Therefore, God must become flesh to carry out His work. Much as with the first incarnation, only the flesh of God incarnate could redeem man through His crucifixion, whereas it was not possible for the Spirit of God to be crucified as a sin offering for man. God could directly become flesh to serve as a sin offering for man, but man could not directly ascend to heaven to take the sin offering that God had prepared for them. As such, God must ‘journey to and fro between heaven and earth,’ rather than letting man ascend to heaven to take this salvation, for man has fallen and cannot ascend to heaven, much less obtain the sin offering. Therefore, it is necessary for Jesus to come among men and personally do the work that simply cannot be accomplished by man. Every time that He became flesh, it was absolutely necessary to do so. If any of the stages could have been carried out directly by the Spirit of God, He would not have endured the indignities of being incarnated.” (from “The Mystery of the Incarnation (4)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) The more I read, the more I felt them reasonable, and the more I read, the more I felt these words so good! I thought, “These are indeed God’s words, and man can never speak them. God has really been incarnated and come among us! What a foolish and blind person I am. I believe in God yet I follow man. I believe in God yet I do not know God. However, I consider myself clever. I resist God’s new work fiercely and live in my imaginations and notions and am obsessed by them, thinking that when God comes, He must be a spiritual body and cannot be a flesh. Today God’s words make me know that it’s more advantageous for God incarnate than the Spirit to do the work of salvation of the last days. What God saves is man of flesh who has been corrupted by Satan, but mortal man and the Spirit are not in the same realm and cannot contact each other. Only if God is incarnated will we be able to experience God’s work and word practically and understand God’s will so that we may act in accordance with God’s will and be saved by God. O God! I am too foolish and ignorant. Today through Your words I know that it is absolutely true that You have been incarnated to save us. Your words have conquered me.”
Thinking back to my past fierce resistance against Almighty God, I was heartbroken and overwhelmed with remorse. I fell before Almighty God completely and cried my eyes out, “O Almighty God! I’m so remorseful. I have eyes but I’m blind and do not discern right and wrong. I have led the brothers and sisters into a pit. I’m an antichrist revealed in God’s work of the last days. I hate myself for being ungrateful and having persecuted, resisted, attacked, slandered, and blasphemed You in every possible way. O God! I have resisted You and deserve ten thousand deaths and even death cannot atone for my sin. I have done too much evil. I didn’t give Your sheep to You but instead controlled them in my hand. I have become an evil servant. O God! Today You have saved me and given me an opportunity to repent. I will bring back the brothers and sisters who were dragged back by me and return them to You even at the cost of my life to make up for my transgressions and console Your heart…”
Dear brothers and sisters, may we all be a true obedient servant of God. In the past, God entrusted His flocks to our care, and today we should give back God’s sheep to Him and be a faithful and good servant. No man can lead people into eternal life and only Christ of the last days has the way of eternal life. May we wake up and drop our notions soon, and open our spiritual eyes to see what time it is. Don’t resist God with the Bible knowledge and don’t hinder the life of the brothers and sisters and of your own. Those rumors are all lies fabricated by those who have ulterior motives. Don’t be fooled anymore. Before God’s work comes to an end, hurry up to seek and investigate with an open mind and keep up with the work of Almighty God! Only Almighty God is the truth, the way, and life. Only Almighty God can lead us into the new age!