In this wheat harvest season, while the reaping machine was working in my field, a fierce gale suddenly sprang up and a heavy rain came pelting down with hail. In a moment, the wheat was beaten down and fell all over the ground. Seeing that my painstaking labor in one season had come to naught, I couldn’t help complaining bitterly in my heart: “O God, why do you make things so difficult for me? Wouldn’t I have finished the reaping if the rain had come half an hour later? Why has this not happened to the unbelievers but to me? How will I live my future life?” My complaints welled up with tears of grief.
At that time, the Holy Spirit inspired and guided me within: “Job lost his flocks and herds all over the hills and lost his vast wealth and had painful sores all over; but he had never denied that Jehovah gave and Jehovah had taken away, and the name of Jehovah should be praised. Should I only receive blessings but not suffer adversities?” The inspiration of the Holy Spirit caused my heart to calm down gradually, and I felt a little bit of comfort.
After getting home, I quickly opened the book of God’s word and read these words: “Although you say that since you believe in God, you ought to love God, not seeking to receive blessings but only seeking to satisfy God’s will, yet what you express in your lives is too far from that and is too mixed. Most people believe in God for peace and for gaining profits. You are one who will not believe if there is no profit. You are one who will pout when receiving no grace. How can this be your true stature? You cannot even bear the ordinarily unavoidable family accidents (your child is ill; your husband is in the hospital; your crops fail; your family persecute you; and so on), which often happen in your daily life. When encountering these things, you are always seized with panic and do not know what to do, and in most cases you complain against God.The things that come upon you now have nothing to do with your future and your destiny at all. Even if you did not believe in God, these things would happen just the same. But now you shift all the responsibility for them onto God. How are you getting along with your belief in God? Have you really dedicated your life? If the trials of Job were done on you, then none of you who follow today could stand; all would fall. If you are compared with Peter, there is no comparison at all. Today, if half of your wealth is taken away, you will dare to deny the existence of God; if your children are taken away, you will shout curses on the street; if the only way for you to make a living is blocked, you will square accounts with ‘God.’ By then, you could do anything. Thus, it can be seen that you do not have true seeing and do not have the slightest true stature.” As I read, I couldn’t help hating myself. I have enjoyed so many blessings of God but have never appreciated them. Today, just because of a drop in the grain yield, a little matter which I thought bad, I had complaints against God. I am really too contemptible! It shows that my stature is so small that I cannot withstand even a little trouble. Even more, it shows me that my viewpoint of pursuing while believing in God was wrong. When I enjoyed God’s grace at ordinary times, I felt whatever God did was good. But once God stripped me, I began to complain against God. Didn’t I believe in God just for receiving blessings and grace? Now, I have not encountered any great trials and I am not asked to dedicate my life. Only a little bit of my harvest was taken away, and I was full of grievances; if my all were taken away, I would really deny the existence of God as God said. Do I have any element of belief? There is simply a world of difference between me and those saints in the past generations. Thinking of this, I felt extremely regretful. I no longer had complaints and sadness in my heart, but instead, I felt it so good to have this hailstorm. It not only awakened my muddled head but also corrected my wrong viewpoint of believing in God.
Xinxiang City, Henan Province