A little Knowledge about My Arrogant Nature
God’s word says: “You leaders always want to be different and superior to others, making something new for God to see how great your abilities are, …and you always want to show off. Isn’t this the expression of man’s arrogant nature?” When I read these words, I thought in my heart: Who is so bold to dare to make something new? Who does not know that God’s nature is not allowed to be offended by man? At least I dare not! I thought that I had a heart of fearing God and would not dare to do his work in a “new” way. However, exposed by the fact, I realized that one’s doing the work in a “new” way is not a matter of whether he dares or dares not to do it, but a matter totally determined by his arrogant and conceited nature.
Not long ago, I found that one of the church leaders was unfit for her work and her humanity was bad also while her assistant was quite burdened for the work. So, I wanted to replace the church leader and let her assistant take over her work. But I was afraid that the church leader would become passive and weak and give up her belief or would disturb the church because of that. After a hard consideration, I had a “good idea”: I’ll secretly let the church assistant take charge of all the works and do all the things assigned by God’s family and make the church leader a figurehead, a leader in name only. Then, without seeking God or consulting the work arrangement, I put my idea into practice after I only told it to the small-district assistant and the small-district minister. After that, I was even pleased with myself and deemed that I was quite clever and quite wise in doing the work. I thought to myself: When my leader knows this, she will surely say that I have the ability to do work, and perhaps she may promote me in the future.
But I had never expected that when I told the matter to my leader, she said: “You’re doing the work in a “new” way! Which article in the work arrangement says that we can do the work this way? The leader unfit for use can be changed. We cannot do the work according to our own will, putting aside the principles of God’s family. This is a matter of seriously resisting God.” At the leader’s fellowship, I was astonished. Little did I imagine that I would have unconsciously done the work in a “new” way, and that the idea I thought good was actually something seriously resisting God. Before the fact, I was really ashamed and regretful.
At the moment, I could not but remember God’s words: “For instance, as you have arrogance and conceit within, you cannot keep yourself from resisting God even though you are not allowed to, and you will certainly resist God. You do not mean to do it. You do it under the sway of your arrogant and conceited nature. Your arrogance and conceit will cause you to scorn God. Your arrogance and conceit will cause you to have no regard for God….”
It’s true! When this matter came to me, without seeking God or measuring it with the principles of God’s family, I did it according to my own will. From this, I saw that I was too arrogant and conceited by nature, had no fear of God, and had no place for God in my heart. Now I have realized that my doing the work in my own devised way is not a matter of whether I dared or dared not to do it, but a matter determined by my arrogant nature. If I don’t know my arrogant nature, I will never be able to hold myself in check and perhaps at a certain time I may do something resisting God and loathsome and hateful to God. Now I know that serving God is not a simple thing. If one has no truth or the transformation of his nature or has no knowledge of his arrogant nature, he will offend God’s nature unconsciously. I am really in a dangerous state! Thank God for inspiring me. Through this matter I have also understood why the above repeatedly requires us to do the work according to the work arrangements. It is because all men are arrogant and conceited by nature and want to show off and show God their abilities and thus often resist God and offend God’s nature.
O God, thank you for exposing my arrogant and conceited nature. From now on I will take this as a warning, make more efforts to know my nature, do the work strictly according to the work arrangements, and strive to be a person who truly has reason and observe the principles and who has a fear of you.
Suzhou City, Anhui Province