In the past, I did not have much knowledge of prayer. I thought that in one’s believing in God, as long as he was sincere and obedient and submissive to God and did whatever he was asked to do, it would be enough, and it was not important to pray more or less. And even to the two daily prayers in the morning and at night, I treated them perfunctorily. As a result, I often lived in the flesh and the bondage of satan, which led to the consequence that my heart and spirit always couldn’t be set free; I always had a feeling of depression within and thought that it was so hard and difficult to believe in God.
Persecuted by the great red dragon, I left my home. Although I was away from home, yet because of my strong emotion my heart was often occupied by my grandson and granddaughter. Whenever I saw others’ children, I thought of my grandchildren and my heart was in anguish, tears streaming down incessantly. I knew clearly that emotion belonged to satan and was loathed by God, but I could not drop it. In my heart I did not want to disobey and grieve God like this, yet I just couldn’t forsake my flesh; I always lived in the flesh and could not struggle free from it. Just when I was living in pain, the church arranged for us to eat and drink God’s word “On the Practice of Prayer” once again. “As a person who serves God before God, you cannot make it if you lack prayer. If you really consider fellowship with God a meaningful and worthy thing, can you give up prayer? No one can lack fellowship with God. If you lack prayer, you will live in the flesh and live in satan’s bondage. Without genuine prayer, you will live under the power of darkness. … Prayer is a pathway of man’s cooperating with God, a way of man’s calling on God, and a course of man’s being moved by God’s Spirit. It can be said that one without prayer is a dead man without a spirit….” After I ate and drank this piece of God’s word carefully, my heart got enlightened all at once. Now I knew that I often lived in the flesh and couldn’t come out of it and this was because I lacked prayer too much. If I didn’t rely on God and open my heart to God, the Holy Spirit had no way to work on me. When I read God’s word “bring your real states and difficulties before God and pray,” I woke up. Why not commit my difficulties to God? God is almighty. As long as I commit everything to God and sincerely look to and rely on God, God will definitely be my ever-present help. From then on, I increased the number of praying to God. I often prayed to God, and when encountering difficulties, I told them to God. Every time I thought of my little grandson and granddaughter and felt distressed shedding tears, I immediately prayed to God, “O God, I’m really a conscienceless person. You have paid so much to save me, but I did not shed tears for my indebtedness to you. You love me so much, but why do I not love you? O God! I want to love you. I don’t want to love my devil relatives anymore. But my flesh is so big and my stature is so small that I cannot overcome that. Please give me strength and power. I’m willing to satisfy you. I don’t want to follow my flesh anymore.” After the prayer, I didn’t feel so much pain, my enthusiasm to love God increased, and I also got strength. Unconsciously, I was much less sentimental about my grandchildren, and my heart wasn’t restrained by emotion anymore.
Through the experience, I have realized that prayer is very important and that only by praying much can one receive the working of the Holy Spirit, can he have the power to get rid of his corruptions and break away from the bondage of satan, and can he set his spirit free. The results of praying more and praying less are much different.
Xinmin City, Liaoning Province