Once I had a prejudice against a sister because of a small matter. I knew that God required us to serve in harmonious coordination, and that when having a prejudice against someone, we should open our heart to fellowship and know ourselves and rebel against ourselves. But because I cared about my face, I was always unwilling to drop myself. And I thought, “Since we can’t coordinate and can’t talk congenially, I’d better talk less to her. It will be all right as long as we do not dispute or quarrel.” Thus, I began to keep a distance from the sister. I intentionally talked less to her and also seldom inquired of her about the church situations. As a consequence, after a period of time, the result of the gospel work in the church declined markedly, and many brothers and sisters lived in passivity and weakness as their problems had not been solved.
Then I had to come before God to pray and seek. One day, in God’s fellowship, I read these words: “Anything not in conformity with the truth is definitely from man’s will…. If you did them not according to the truth, you certainly resisted God. If you did them not according to the truth, you did them according to doctrines and according to human will. Your doing is from satan and from man’s will. It is resistance against God.” God’s words caused me to wake up completely. When I had a prejudice against the sister, I knew clearly that according to God’s word, I should open my heart to communicate with her, know myself and rebel against myself, and have a harmonious coordination with her, and only this was after God’s heart. However, I cared about my face, turned a deaf ear to God’s word, put the truth aside, and stayed away from her by applying the satanic philosophy “If two people have nothing in common, they’d better exchange few words.” And I thought that as long as I did not dispute or quarrel with her, I was not resisting God. Because I was unwilling to drop myself and always held the prejudice against her, I seldom inquired of her about the problems in the church, with the result that many problems could not be solved in time, the life entering in of the brothers and sisters was delayed, the result of the gospel work was affected, and the interests of God’s family suffered loss. Was I not resisting God seriously? At the moment, I became afraid. I immediately fell down before God and prayed to him, “O God, thank you that your exposing has made me realize that my inherent nature was too arrogant. I clearly knew the truth but was unwilling to practice it. In order to preserve my face, I disobeyed and resisted you again and again. I am really loathsome to you. Thank you that your inspiration has led me out of the wrong state, and made me understand that acting not according to your word in anything is resisting you. From now on, I will draw a lesson, pursue the transformation of my nature, and rebel against my flesh and act according to your word in everything, so as to comfort your heart.”
Heze City, Shandong Province