Away from God, I Can Accomplish Nothing
Because of the needs of the work, I was transferred to another small district to take charge of the gospel work. The leader told me about the local working situation: “In this district there is a large amount of gospel work. Several former directors all failed to do the work well. This time you are transferred here, and you should make an all-out effort to cooperate with God and promote the work to console God’s heart….” After hearing these words, I said arrogantly in my heart: “You just wait and see the results! No matter how messy the work is, I am not afraid of it. As the saying goes, ‘No field is infertile, and no play is bad. It all depends on who works at it.’ I have worked for so long a time. What difficulties have I not encountered? No difficulty has ever defeated me!”
Then, I studied the schemes together with the brothers and sisters, and concerning every gospel clue I made detailed analysis and arrangements. A week passed and there were no results achieved. But I did not get worried; instead, I made further inquiries about the condition in various aspects and made better-conceived arrangements for the gospel clues. However, by the end of that month there were still not any results achieved. I not only did not get discouraged, but on the contrary, I worked even harder. Every day I ate and stayed together with the brothers and sisters, analyzing the clues and studying plans; I spent an immense amount of energy. Unexpectedly, by the end of the second month, there were still no results to be seen. The brothers and sisters became so passive that they could not be activated, so I went to preach the gospel by myself. The result was that I was either driven away or besieged by the denominational people, and some even wanted to dial 110 to call the police. Besides, I got a bad cold, and neither taking medicines nor having injections nor receiving infusions had effect on me. At this time, I, in dire straits, no longer had my previous enthusiasm. The blow from the work and the affliction of my illness tormented me half dead. Only then did I come before God to seek: “O God! The gospel work has remained ineffective, and all the brothers and sisters have become passive and weak. In which aspect do you want to perfect me by doing all this? I can’t touch your intention. May you reveal it to me.”
One day, I read these words of God: “…if you try to pursue your cause by your abilities and knowledge, you will forever be a failure and will forever be one who does not have God’s blessings….” “When mankind has no blessings of God, it is as if mankind had no sun. …no matter how many just conferences mankind may hold, they won’t be able to reverse the course of the world or change the destiny of mankind.” “I only hope that man will understand: If man does not have God’s care and keeping and does not have God’s supply, no matter how hard man strives and struggles, he will not gain what he should gain….” Then I felt as if waking from a dream. Since I accepted this commission, I spared no pains and relied on my own ability to “hold conferences,” analyzing and studying the schemes, while putting God aside. How could this make God bless me? Failures and setbacks succeeded one another, but I did not know to return to God to examine myself; on the contrary, I worked “even harder.” Not until I was driven into a corner did I know to come before God. I was really arrogant and ignorant to a degree! The fact makes me see that if I rely on my own ability, however hard I try or struggle, I will always be a failure. O God! I will no longer rely on my own ability to do the work. I am willing to completely commit the gospel work and the states of the brothers and sisters to your hands. Please have mercy on us!
Thank God! When I relied on God to do the work, the enthusiasm of the brothers and sisters soon went up. In a few days, we gained five people who pursued quite hard; moreover, we had several ripe clues for preaching. Also, I recovered from my illness without any treatment.
Nanyang City, Henan Province