Hu Ke Dezhou City, Shandong Province
Whenever I saw these words spoken by God, I felt anxious: “Every sentence I have spoken holds the disposition of God. You would do well to ponder My words carefully, and you will surely profit greatly from them.” I felt anxious because understanding God’s disposition is so important both to man’s understanding of God and their seeking to love and satisfy Him. But when eating and drinking the words of God, I always felt like God’s disposition was too abstract, and I didn’t know how to understand it. Afterward, through fellowship from my leader, I came to know that I should understand what God likes and what He hates from His words, and thereby come to understand God’s disposition. I subsequently tried for a while to put this into practice and I saw some results. But I still felt at a loss regarding God’s words, “Every sentence I have spoken holds the disposition of God,” and had no idea how exactly to understand it.
One day, I read these words in a fellowship from the above: “God’s disposition contains many aspects. It contains what God has and is, His thoughts, His ideas, His thinking and wisdom. It contains God’s manner toward all kinds of people, such as His sentiments of mercy and care, and still more His wrath toward mankind’s rebellion and resistance. Because God’s every sentence contains His thinking, His wisdom and His ideas, because they all contain the background and source of His words, because they all naturally express God’s manner toward mankind, with not one sentence that is without foundation, it is a very natural thing for every sentence to contain God’s disposition…. If, when reading God’s words, one does not try to figure them out enough, does not put in enough effort or has not enough experience, then God’s disposition will not be easy to perceive, much less understand. What is needed then is for man to quiet themselves before God and to wholly put their hearts into God’s words, and for their reading and trying to figure out God’s words to be done during prayer; then you will slowly come to discover the frame of mind behind God’s words” (The Fellowship From the Above). When I read this fellowship, it all clicked into place. I realized that God’s disposition contains many things: It contains what God has and is, His thoughts and His ideas, His thinking and His wisdom, as well as His manner toward all kinds of people, His mercy and care toward mankind or His loathing and hatred toward corrupt people, and so on. Furthermore, God’s every sentence contains the background and source of His every word, with not one sentence being without foundation, and each and every thing God does and every sentence He speaks are a natural expression of all that He is in life. My understanding of God’s disposition, on the other hand, was limited only to what God likes and what He hates. This kind of understanding was too one-sided so it was unable to reach an understanding of God’s disposition from His every sentence. Besides this, I also understood that, if I wanted to understand God’s disposition from His every sentence, I needed to quiet myself before God and make a lot more effort to try to figure out God’s words. Furthermore, I needed to pray and seek guidance before God, focusing on understanding the frame of mind behind the words God has spoken as well as the background and source behind God’s deeds.
I give thanks to God’s enlightenment and illumination that allowed me to realize these things, and then afterward I started to focus on practicing and entering into this aspect. One day, I read a passage of God’s words: “Whether or not this work is important is based on the needs of mankind, and the reality of mankind’s depravity, and the severity of Satan’s disobedience and its disturbance of the work. The right one who is up to the task is predicated upon the nature of his work, and the importance of the work. When it comes to the importance of this work, in terms of what method of work to adopt—work done directly by the Spirit, or work done by God incarnate, or work done through man—the first to be eliminated is work done through man, and, based on the nature of the work, and the nature of the Spirit’s work versus that of the flesh, it is ultimately decided that work done by the flesh is more beneficial for man than work done directly by the Spirit, and offers more advantages. This is God’s thought at the time to decide whether the work was done by the Spirit or by the flesh” (“Corrupt Mankind Is More in Need of the Salvation of God Become Flesh” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). When I tried carefully to figure out this passage, I felt like I’d uncovered a great bounty. God’s words show the development of God’s thinking at that time, thinking of what method to use for the work in the last days. During the course of His thinking, the first thing God considered was what method to use that would be of most benefit to man in this work, how best to attain the outcome of the salvation of man and what to do to make Satan accept defeat, thereby vanquishing Satan and bringing the people who have been harmed so deeply into complete salvation. During this entire thought process, God constantly considered man and never considered His own interests or safety. God clearly knew that His incarnation would suffer much hardship, but this was not a consideration when it came to saving mankind. Instead, He still chose, based on the needs of mankind and the reality of mankind’s depravity, the method of God become flesh to perform the work of the last days. He risks great danger to go deep into the tiger’s den, He suffers the wild persecution and pursuit of the great red dragon, endures the abuse and blasphemy of the various sects and denominations, and also endures the resistance, rebellion and misunderstanding of those of us who follow. The wounds and attacks inflicted on God’s heart and the humiliation that God endures really are things no one can comprehend. Everything God expresses and reveals is all that He is in life: His selfless dedication to mankind and His paying the price for them. God’s greatness and selflessness are revealed naturally in His work and His every sentence, and these also embody God’s great mercy and selfless love. God’s love for mankind is not just empty words, but is a practical price that He pays. At that time, I got a vivid sense that God really is so great and so lovable! So, although I had read these words of God previously, I had never understood the background behind the words Christ spoke or all that they revealed, nor had I understood Christ’s love for mankind. Only now did I have some true understanding of these words of God: “Every sentence I have spoken holds the disposition of God.”
Before, as I had never quietened my heart or earnestly tried to figure out God’s words, I lost so many good opportunities to understand God, so much so that even today I still have many conceptions and misunderstandings toward God, and am still estranged from Him. Only now do I understand that if I wish to understand God’s disposition, I must try earnestly to figure out and seek the truth within God’s every sentence. In this way, I will surely profit greatly. From today on, I wish to focus on putting much more effort into God’s words, and seek to soon become one who has some understanding of God.