God said that “men are all cheap things.” But I always thought that God somewhat overstated the case. I behave decently; I’m not cheap. How could God say so? I didn’t accept this word of God at all. Not until one day God revealed me did I gain a little knowledge of this word.
This February, because of the need of the work, I was transferred to a place far away from my home to perform my duty. At first I didn’t miss my family. But as time went on, my longing for my child and husband got increasingly intense, and gradually I sank into refining. I thought to myself, “If I performed duty near my home and could take care of my home and husband and child, how nice that would be!” As my state was abnormal all along, I lost the working of the Holy Spirit, with the result that my work was unfruitful. A few days later, I was really dismissed home. At that time I felt very happy in my heart, thinking, “It’s terrific. Now I can take care of my family and perform my duty at the same time. Thank God that he is so considerate of my weakness.”
After I returned home, my flesh was satisfied, but it was not so easy for me to go out to perform my duty. Every day, when I went out, my husband either chased me or beat and swore at me, and I could never escape his dominion. Once, hardly had I climbed up the hill opposite our village when I was caught by him. He pulled my hair and dragged me all the way from the hilltop to the bottom. Because it had just rained then, I was stained with mud all over, like a mud figure. At that moment, the Holy Spirit rebuked me within: “God pulled you out of the devils’ hands, but you have turned back and treat the devils according to your conscience and with love. You are simply a worthless thing, and are a heap of dog’s dung, an animal, and a cheap thing.” Only then did I have a knowledge of God’s word of disclosing that “men are all cheap things.” God’s word is not exaggerated and is the actual situation. God saved me from the power of darkness and let me live a life guided by the truth and the light, yet I didn’t treasure it but still yearned for the life of darkness. I was unable to keep my duty; though my person was out, my heart was at home and I could never drop my husband. Now I’m back, but I’m beaten up by him and also restrained in performing my duty. I’m really cheap and too worthless!
Thank God. Through this experience, I have truly realized that every word God speaks is the truth and everything God discloses is the true state of man. I will no longer think highly of myself. I will, under God’s leading, rebel against my flesh, pursue to satisfy God, and live out a meaningful and worthy life.
Lishi City, Shanxi Province