In the winter of 2001, in a meeting our leader fellowshipped with us that in some places God’s word was directly used to testify in preaching the gospel and the results achieved were very good, and she asked us to make full use of this way too. At that time, I, director of a second-line team, did not quite agree with her. I thought, “You leaders can only talk. You know nothing about the situations in sects and denominations. Now, these religious people hold on to the Bible rigidly, and even though we try to lead them out specially through the Bible, they have very strong notions. If we directly read God’s word to them, won’t this ‘kill’ all of them?” Thus, no matter how the sister fellowshipped, I still stuck to my own viewpoint. In the work, I still required the brothers and sisters to preach the gospel according to the past “systemized biblical ways,” and that without skipping any one of the links. However, every time we testified to a gospel friend we ended in failure. In contrast, the brothers and sisters in the churches gained many people by the way of reading God’s word. These two completely different results left me rather puzzled.
One day, we needed someone to testify to a man from the Way of Life Church. But at that time, those who could testify with the Bible in our second-line team were all very busy and I could not find a suitable person in a short time. In my anxiety, I remembered the way of testifying by reading God’s word. So, with an attitude of “taking a chance,” I asked a brother to go and directly read God’s word to the gospel friend. Four days later, the brother phoned me and said gladly, “The gospel friend has been fully certain about the gospel in God’s word, and he’s eager to bring all those under him before God….” At the news, I felt very excited. But then I felt ashamed at the thought that in this period I worked completely according to my own idea and imagination and failed to follow the pace of the working of the Holy Spirit, with the result that I had hindered the gospel work.
In self-reproach, I came before God to seek. I read God’s words: “People always hold on to the old things, their past notions, and their past things. This is a great hindrance to their service. If you do not cast off those things, they will ruin your whole life. Even if you run your legs off, break your neck, and are even martyred for ‘serving’ God, God will not approve you at all. On the contrary, he will say that you are one who does evil.” God’s words pricked my heart deeply. I thought back to myself: While preaching the gospel, I always held on to my own notion and ignored God’s present work. Though the leader had fellowshipped with me many times, I still acted according to my own imagination and notion and never considered what to do to make the gospel work achieve better results. As a result, so many brothers and sisters couldn’t understand God’s new work and return before God early. I was really doing evil and resisting God! If God had not countered my notion by the fact today, I would still hold on to my notion and preach the gospel according to my notion and imagination. My inherent nature is really too arrogant and self-right! O God, your exposing makes me want to sink through the ground. And your wonderful work has smashed my “self-assurance.” I have realized that my stinking mind produces only maggots and the things against you. From now on, I will drop my old things, submit to your arrangement in everything, follow your work actively, and be a simple person who accepts new things.
Baoji City, Shaanxi Province