At the end of a meeting, a sister handed me more than 200 yuan and said that she had bought a CD player from God’s family without paying then and now she paid for it. I asked her, “When did you get the player? How come I don’t have the record here?” She replied, “It was handled by the former leader. You can ask her about it.” After I got back, I wanted to enter the amount in the account book first. But at the moment when I put pen to paper, a wicked idea came into my mind: “Am I not short of money these days? Now I can’t go home, and even if I went home, my husband wouldn’t give me money. I simply keep this money for myself. Anyway, nobody knows it.” At this thought, I put the account book away without entering the item in it. At that moment, I did not feel much condemned. But on that evening, I was seized with fear. I was unable to listen to hymns and had no words for prayer, and my heart was in turmoil. I could do nothing but eat and drink God’s word. I read these words: “The church leaders cannot practice righteousness and still hanker after money, always putting the money of the church into their own pockets; does this mean they acknowledge that there is a God?” “Do you think you can get away with what you have done as long as others don’t know it? There is no such cheap thing! I will make you say it on your knees before me. You have no choice but to say it. This is my administration!” God’s words pierced through my heart. Then I really hated myself for being so contemptible and having no personality. I enjoyed the riches bestowed by God and ate the food bestowed by God, yet I was not content with that. I actually took the advantage to steal the money of God’s family, without any dread of God. Am I not one like Judas? The more I thought about it, the more I felt that what I did was disgusting. Tears of remorse streamed down my face continuously. With shame, I came before God and prayed: O God! Today, under the inspiration and guidance of your words, I have seen my ugly and sordid soul and even more known my greedy inherent nature. O God, I am grateful that your words have awakened me so that I can pull back before it is too late, withdrawing my sinful hand in time. In my future experience, I will make a principle of practice for dealing with my inherent nature and take it as my motto to control myself at all times. Even more, I will accept the searching of your Spirit in everything and guard myself in respect of money.
After praying, I immediately entered the item in the account book, and then I felt relieved within.
Weinan City, Shaanxi Province