It was close to the end of the month. One small-district leader phoned me to say that they hadn’t gained any person, and another phoned me to say that the result of the gospel work was not good this month. After hearing such “bad news,” I felt as if falling into a bottomless abyss and my whole body lost its strength all at once. I even dared not answer the call from the third small-district leader. Their failures to gain people already distressed me too much, but they also complained about their difficulties, saying that the brothers and sisters could not be mobilized during the busy farming season, and saying that few people went out to preach the gospel as it rained every day. Still, a small-district leader said in weeping, “I can’t go on with the work. Get someone else to take my place! …” Facing these “difficulties,” I flinched. Although I didn’t dare to complain about the difficulties and sufferings before the brothers and sisters, in my heart I had become weak to such an extent that I beat a retreat, feeling that I was really unable to shoulder the commission. But, at the thought of giving it up, I could not help remembering the words of God, “How should one treat God’s commission? This is a serious matter! If you cannot complete the commission God gives you, you don’t deserve to live before God and should receive punishment. God’s commission to man is that which man must complete obligatorily. This is man’s highest responsibility and is as important as his life.” “You are purely evading your responsibility and shirking your responsibility. If you have a bit of conscience and sense, you should make an all-out effort to complete what you should do and your mission. To be a deserter is an awful matter, and it is rebelling against God.” So, I had to force myself to hold on. However, I didn’t know how to solve the difficulties below and the states of the small-district leaders. Not knowing what to do, I had to seek God: “O God! I’m willing to seek to understand your intention in these difficulties. You know in which aspects I have deficiencies. May you inspire me….” After the prayer, I thought: For God to inspire me, I should cooperate practically. Yes, I’d better call the several people together to have a talk first. Though I cannot supply anything to them, to have a fellowship together may do us some good. The next day, we gathered together, and we brought the difficulties of the churches and of our own before God and prayed together, beseeching God to help us. When a sister was praying, I suddenly remembered the hymn of God’s words: “God has no element of disobedience. … Even though he is the God in the flesh, he will not do anything of disobeying God the Father. And even if he has to lay down his life, he will be willing and will not make any other choice. … No matter how difficult his work is or how weak his flesh is, the God in the flesh will not do anything that frustrates his own work, much less give up the will of the Father. The God in the flesh would rather suffer in his flesh than go against the will of God the Father the will of God the Father. …” God’s words made me enlightened all at once. I thought: Christ’s work on earth has encountered all kinds of hindrances and experienced all kinds of difficulties, and even more, Christ has undergone innumerable sufferings, but Christ has never given up saving us, the group of corrupt people. To complete the will of God the Father, she is willing even to lay down her life. I, however, wanted to shrink when encountering a few difficulties. Did I have any will to suffer? Facing Christ’s being, I felt deeply ashamed of myself. I saw that I was too disobedient and too small in stature and that I did not have any perseverance or resolution. I was really a good-for-nothing! Today God is incarnated; doesn’t he come to set an example for us to imitate? At that moment, I deeply realized God’s kind intention in arranging these difficulties for me: God is just to make up for my deficiencies and perfect my perseverance and resolution through the difficulties. Having thought of this, I felt an enormous, invisible power encouraging me to go forward. After I fellowshipped with the brothers and sisters about the inspiration I received, they felt greatly encouraged and no longer complained about the difficulties. And immediately we all made a resolution: we will imitate Christ’s being and perform our duties well to satisfy God. Thank God that his inspiration has led me out of the difficulties. To God be all the glory and praise!
Bengbu City, Anhui Province