5. God’s Disposition Is Righteousness and, Even More, Love
Fang Xin, Beijing
August 15, 2012
Ever since 2007, when I accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days, although I have appeared on the surface to be very busy fulfilling my duties, I have not given my heart to God, and have often felt bound to the point of suffocation by trifling family issues. Every time I think about the fact that my daughter is already thirty years old, yet still hasn’t found a suitable partner, I complain to God; my son only cares about having a good time, and despite not earning any money, he spends profligately, so I complain; and my own old spouse goes to work, but his foreman doesn’t pay him—and I complain about this as well…. I complain left and right, and often misunderstand God. It seems as though God has been overly unfair to me. As a result, I have been living in darkness and suffering. However, I have not known that I should seek God, and have been profoundly ignorant of how dangerous my state is. I have merely struggled helplessly amidst my suffering. Nevertheless, God knows my state inside out. He uses unique methods to call out to me and save me, causing me to awaken from dream and escape Satan’s harm and affliction.
On August 1, 2012, it rained especially hard. The water level in the river rose rapidly, and had already gotten over the bridge. It was surging forward wave after wave, and the situation was extremely dire. As I was about to drive my electric scooter across the submerged bridge, my front tire had just reached it and I was thinking about mashing down the power to charge forward when, to my surprise, it turned out the water was too deep and the waves too high. Before I could react, my vehicle—with me on it—was swept away by the current. I was just about to shout, “Almighty God!” Before the words could escape my lips, however, water poured into my mouth, and I was gargling gulp after gulp of water. At the time I understood in my heart, and knew clearly in my mind, that this was my final destination. I was going to die here. The water continued to pour into my mouth, and I struggled to call out to God but was unable to. Suddenly, I had an opportunity. I looked up, my face breaking the surface, and in that moment I was finally able to shout out hoarsely, “Almighty God, save me!” Soon after, like a leaf in the current, I felt myself float up against a large tree. Immediately I reached my arms out, hugged the tree, and was able to stand up. At this time I felt especially excited. I couldn’t help but pray to God: “God! It was You who saved me. Not turning Your back on my filth and corruption, You plucked this life of mine from the verge of death and brought me back. I wish to give You my thanks and praise.”
Just then, as I was holding on to the tree and gazing toward the river, I was surprised to see that despite how tall the waves were and how strong the current was, God had caused the water to push me over to the other side, leaving me in a location a hundred or so meters from the submerged bridge. God is so full of wonders! I took a moment to steady myself, and then waded toward the shore and climbed onto the bank. I then looked toward the river, hoping to see where my electric scooter had ended up, but I could not find it. All I could see were rolling, black waves surging past.
When I got home and lay on my bed, the scene of being swept downriver by the enormous current continued to play fearfully through my mind. I thanked God for saving me in this time of danger, and I didn’t think about much else. One day, I read something written in Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life: “If you believe God’s words, ‘The environment around us as well as the people, matters and objects, all are permitted by His throne,’ then you will have faith. ‘No matter what the context is, I will submit to God, I will satisfy God, I will stand witness, this comes first of all.’ If you have this faith there’s no need to examine it. You should just directly stand witness, directly satisfy God, and put the truth into practice; you cannot forsake God.” I suddenly became aware that it had been God’s good intentions for that day’s disaster to befall me. Not only had He used it to allow me to experience and realize God’s almighty acts in the flood, but He had also used this disaster to purify me and transform me. I thought about how I’d spent my life complaining to God for the sake of my children and husband, and had passively resisted Him; if I had been swept away by the flood that time, then I would have completely “let go” of my children, husband, and all my property. In the face of disaster, weren’t all these things completely worthless? God had used the disaster to awaken me in the hope that I could entrust all my family members to God, and spend more time doing my best to seek the truth and salvation. This was the love God had for me. Had that disaster not befallen me, I would not have taken the initiative to come before God, and much less could I have possibly turned back to God. As God said, “When it comes to the state of man’s life, man has yet to find the real life, he still hasn’t seen through to the injustice, desolation, and miserable conditions of the world—and so, were it not for the advent of disaster, most people would still embrace Mother Nature, and would still engross themselves in the flavor of ‘life.’ Is this not the reality of the world? Is this not the voice of salvation that I speak forth to man? Why, among mankind, has no one ever truly loved Me? Why does man love Me only in the midst of chastisement and trials, yet no one loves Me under My protection? I have bestowed My chastisement many times upon mankind. They take a look at it, but then they ignore it, and they do not study and contemplate it at this time, and so all that comes upon man is merciless judgment. This is only one of My methods of working, but it is still in order to change man and make him love Me” (“The Twenty-ninth Utterance” of God’s Utterances to the Entire Universe in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s disposition is righteousness and, even more, love. No matter what He does, it is salvation for me; it is to allow me to understand Him, submit to Him, and love Him. Now, having experienced God’s work and enjoyed His benevolence, my only hope is to do my best to fulfill my duties as a created being to repay God’s love, to satisfy God’s heart, and to play my part in spreading the gospel of God’s kingdom.