Seeing God’s word of judgment was so stern, I always felt that I was hopeless to be saved, and that now God was using me but only as a toiler. Because of this, I always could not go all out to work. In a work of “fighting against false christs,” however, my notion was corrected completely.
In April this year, the false christs’ activities were very rampant in our working area. God’s family paid especial attention to this matter, on the one hand strengthening the watering on the undeceived with the truths of the vision, and on the other hand immediately assigning workers to save those deceived brothers and sisters. I was fortunately assigned to take part in this campaign of “fighting against false christs.” We came to the homes of the deceived brothers and sisters and took the opportunity of helping with their work to fellowship with them. However, they not only didn’t listen to us, but on the contrary, they took side with the false christs to blaspheme God. Having been frustrated, I vented all my complaints to my leader: “These deceived people are really rebellious and blind. They were born in the remote and backward mountain villages, and they are old and poorly educated. We went to save them with a kind heart, but they were iron-hearted and uncivilized. It is not a pity that such people are captured by the false christs. Why should we still exert so great effort to save them?” Hearing my words, the leader fellowshipped with me: “Men so much rebel against God and resist God, but God has not abandoned them. Isn’t this God’s maximal salvation to men? The brothers and sisters are deceived because they don’t understand the truth. How God hopes that we can care for his intention and cooperate with him to save them by every possible means. How can we lose heart?” Then, she read me a passage of God’s word: “How difficult God’s footsteps are in doing his work on earth! For man’s weaknesses, for man’s deficiencies, for man’s immaturity, for man’s ignorance, and for man’s everything, God makes well-conceived plans and considers thoughtfully. … He labors for people day and night, worries about their life, and also sympathizes with their weaknesses. …thus tossing and turning. Who has ever known that? To whom can he pour this out? Who can understand him? He always hates man’s sins and hates man for lacking moral fiber and being spineless, and always worries about man’s fragility and always thinks about man’s path ahead. Seeing man’s words and deeds, he is always full of mercy and also full of anger, and what God sees always makes his heart painful. The innocent man has become numb after all; why always be hard on him? The fragile man has already had no willpower at all; why always get angry with him? The feeble and faint man has already had no vitality; why always lecture him for his rebelliousness? … Man is weak after all. God has no choice but to bury his anger deep in the bottom of his heart and let man take time to examine himself.”
Every word of God was with deep love and touched my heart, making me feel too ashamed to show my face. Ah, yes! God’s love for man is as deep as the sea! The remark “God looks for the lost sheep” is not a statement of doctrine. Most of the deceived brothers and sisters live in the remote mountain villages, and they are old and poor in qualities and have no discernment, but God hasn’t given up saving them. Men themselves don’t treasure their own lives or seek after the truth but believe the false christs’ fallacies and forsake and revile God together with devils. However, God did not strike them down according to what they did; instead, he endures men’s misunderstandings and saves every soul by every possible means. God hates men’s rebelliousness and betrayal, yet he also considers men’s weakness, has mercy on men for their ignorance, cares for men’s life and soul, and thinks of men and bears men in mind and worries about men at all times. Isn’t all this God’s true and real love for men? In the world, who could have such love and who could have such giving? Thinking back to myself, I only suffered a little snub and then I uttered complaints and wanted to give up retrieving the brothers and sisters, without a heart of pity and sympathy for others at all. I’m really too selfish and too malicious! Only now have I seen that only God has true love for man. Since he is to save man, he will be responsible for man to the end. However hard it is to deal with man, God never gives up a person easily. God’s love is so real! But I misunderstood God all along and always thought that God was taking advantage of me, so I always did the work perfunctorily. I really grieved God’s heart badly!
Thinking of that, I fell down to the ground and wept bitterly, “O God, I owe you too much! Only now have I understood that your substance is love and whatever you do is love. I’m willing to lay aside my all to satisfy you. I’ll spare no effort to bring back those deceived brothers and sisters without missing any one of them, so as to genuinely love you once and make up for my indebtedness to you.”
Neijiang City, Sichuan Province