After I accepted this stage of work, I came to know that in the end time God does the work of chastisement and judgment and brings with him the nature like that of a lion—righteousness, majesty, and intolerance of man’s offense. So I warned myself: I must never offend God’s nature; otherwise, I will be punished by God and become one rejected by God forever.
One day, in the work arrangement “Give Them One More Chance if the Pursuers of the Truth Had Serious Transgressions,” I read these words: “Among those expellees who once betrayed and rebelled against God while under arrest for belief in God, if there are some who pursue the truth, who are zealous to perform duties, and who are generally considered to have a fairly good humanity, they should be treated differently. … Besides, their betrayal and rebellion was only speaking out some things they knew, but they did not serve as a tool of satan—to watch or spy on the work of God’s family….” At that time, I was so astonished that I could not speak for quite a while. Betraying God’s family—this is a matter of rebelling against God and seriously offending God’s nature. Aren’t such people the same as Judas? Moreover, God has said: “And I do not like anyone who has ever betrayed me, much less like to associate with anyone who betrays the interests of his friends, which is my nature, no matter who he is.” If God even tolerates Judases, then where is God’s righteous nature expressed? Isn’t God righteous and holy? The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. The doubts in my mind grew graver and graver, and it seemed to me that the lofty and majestic God was not the same as before. I had an inexpressible feeling in my heart, extremely distressed.
When I remained perplexed, I received a clear guidance within: God’s love surpasses his righteousness! Then I hastened to find this passage of God’s word: “The substance of Christ is love to man, an infinite love to those who follow him. If he had no love and no mercy, then people could not have followed until today. Some say, ‘But God also has righteousness, doesn’t he?’ Yes! It is true that he also has righteousness. But as far as his nature is concerned, his righteousness is to hate mankind being corrupt and evil. What if he had only righteousness but no love? What if his love could not surpass his righteousness? Then it could be said that all people would be finished. So, I tell you the truth, in the work God does to mankind during the period of his incarnation, the most obvious and salient of his substance is love and is infinite tolerance. …”
God’s words cleared up the doubts in my mind. From God’s words, I saw God’s supremacy and greatness. God is righteous and holy; he hates man’s corruption and evil, and hates man being unable to be absolutely faithful to him and unable to stand for his testimony before satan. But he is also full of infinite love and tolerance for man. Although people once betrayed him and brought him too much grief, he does not have the heart to give them up and still wants to save them. God sympathizes with their weaknesses, because God knows how deeply people have been corrupted by satan and how cruel the great red dragon’s measures are. As long as they turn back, God will give them the opportunity. God has always been clear about whom to love and whom to hate; he does not love Judases but loves those who are willing to pursue the truth. As long as one has a heart of thirsting for God, God will save him to the utmost, for God’s love surpasses his righteousness. Seeing God’s substance so beautiful and kind, I hated myself all the more. I not only limited God’s work according to my notions but even used God’s words against it. I did not treat the God in the flesh as God and had no true knowledge of God’s righteous nature. My nature is really too arrogant and my heart too malicious. I really do not deserve to live. In retrospect, so many times I disobeyed and resisted God, and so many times I thought of forsaking and leaving God, to escape God’s judgment and chastisement. But God did not treat me according to my unrighteousness but merely used smiting and discipline to wake me up, used words to exhort me…. If it had not been for God’s tolerance and mercy, I could never have followed God up to the present.
O God, how wide and long and high and deep your love is. You are our stern father as well as our loving mother. Yet, I was so obtuse and numb that I not only had no knowledge of your nature but often measured you with my stone brain. O God, now I realize that the more your work is contrary to man’s notions, the deeper its significance is. I will never again limit your work according to my notions. I only desire to be a person who truly obeys you, and to seek your will more in your word and work and discover more of your loveliness.
Qiqihar City, Heilongjiang Province