Influenced by the feudal ideology, I had thought all along that as a woman I should be a good wife and kind mother and this was a proper embodiment of traditional virtues on a woman. So, I expended wholeheartedly for the family; every day I moved among my parents-in-law and husband and children. I showed deep respect to my parents-in-law, all obedience to my husband, and meticulous care to my children, and I never felt tired of doing so. Finally, my efforts were “rewarded”: Among my relatives, friends, and neighbors, I became a publicly known “understanding wife and loving mother.” I was often proud of this reputation. I not only did not grow weary of the cumbersome housework and the complicated interpersonal relationships, but I deemed it most meaningful to live in this way. As to my belief in God, I was always half sincere in it, deeming it as something dispensable, and had never taken it seriously. Nor had I ever considered how I, as a created being, should worship God and satisfy God. As to what God’s word says that people all live under satan’s fooling and trampling, which is empty and meaningless, I could not understand, and was even less convinced. Could a life like mine be meaningless? Don’t people live just for family harmony, friendly relations with neighbors, and a good reputation in the world? How could it be said to be empty?
One day, I read God’s words: “…they all are so bound by the poisons in their innermost being which are left from the several-thousand-year ‘national spirit’ and by the feudal thoughts that they have no freedom at all, … and none of them thinks about breaking free from it or thinks about living in an ideal world, but they just live a lawful and conventional life: bearing and raising children, laboring, sweating, working, and dreaming of having a comfortable and happy family, a loving spouse, filial children, and a happy old age, and of living through their life in peace….” “People are not with their families in their warm homes, living happily, so much as they live in ‘Hades,’ associating with demons and dealing with devils.” “Men live under satan’s authority all their life. No one can break free from satan’s power by himself. All men live in the filthy world, live in corruption, and live in emptiness, without any meaning or any worth. They all live for the flesh, for lust, and for satan in such a carefree way, without any value of existence.” When I read these words of God, I woke up all at once. Isn’t this a true picture of my life? Over so many years I have been living in this way. For the title of an “understanding wife and loving mother,” I took on all the housework in silence; I was worked to death but took pleasure in it. I willingly lived under the authority of satan and worked myself to the bone for it, without any value or any meaning. I lost my freedom, dignity, and personality, yet I thought that this was the most meaningful life. I did not know that simply by this feudal thought satan kept me away from God, causing me to live in the flesh and enjoy the pleasure of sin. I was really too ignorant and blind!
Later, I read these words of God: “Because all those who do not believe in God live for their flesh and for satan, but today you live for God and for carrying out God’s will. That is why I say that your life is the most meaningful life. Only this group of people selected by God can live out a most meaningful life. No one else in the world can live out such a worthy and meaningful life as yours. Because of God’s selection, because of God’s uplifting, and even more because of God’s love, you have found the true life and known what life is the most worthy. …” “You, who are a created being, should worship God and pursue a meaningful life. If you don’t worship God, living in the filthy flesh, won’t you become a beast in human attire? … You are the ones who pursue the right way and pursue to progress. You rise up in the country of the great red dragon and are the ones justified by God. Isn’t this the most meaningful life?” Reading here, I thought and saw clearly. I came to understand that for a created being made by God’s hands, the most meaningful life is to worship God and live for God. But because of satan’s corruption, I stayed away from God and lived in satan’s fooling. I gave my all willingly for my flesh and my reputation. Yet, I have never thought about how to break free from satan’s power and get out of this dreary, flat, fallen, and rotten life. Nor have I ever considered how to live in the presence of the Creator and enjoy the abundant, enjoyable things the Creator has bestowed upon man. I was really too foolish and pitiable! If it were not for the timely guidance of God’s words, I would die without seeing through satan’s schemes, without knowing how to live, much less knowing for whom man should live. O Almighty God, thank you for having woken me up. From now on, I will free myself from this servile life and pursue to live out a meaningful life.
Luanchuan County, Henan Province