When I heard that a co-worker whom I adored very much before was expelled because of offending God’s nature, I felt very sorry for that and couldn’t help complaining for the co-worker: He has been following God from his teens up to now. Over these years he has undergone so many sufferings, but God’s family expelled him. It’s really… At that time, I had an unspeakable pain in my heart, always feeling as if God was too merciless and inconsiderate in doing that. But I realized that this thought of mine was wrong and I should not have such misunderstanding about God. So, I prayed to God: “O God, I know it is not right for me to have such a thought, but I just cannot come out of this state. May you inspire and guide me.” Then, God inspired me: You always view matters from the angle of man. Why can’t you view matters from the side of God? You only see he has undergone many sufferings over the years; why can’t you see how great a price God has paid on him during these years? Today he did such a thing that brought shame to God’s name. Where is his conscience? Doesn’t it serve him right that he received such retribution? Under the inspiration of God, I felt ashamed and disgraced. Yes! Why don’t I view this matter from the side of God? Is the price God has paid on him in these years little? Why should he have done such a thing? He had brought great shame to God’s name and deserved to be expelled indeed. Then, my heart gradually calmed down.
Later, I read these words of God: “Over so many years I have been giving people, but what I have gotten is just nothing on my hands. Who has ever given me? Are all my painstaking efforts and price cloud and mist among the mountains?” “… Who can understand God’s anxious heart? God’s ardent heart and fervent expectation should be repaid with ice-cold hearts, they are repaid with cold-blooded and ruthless eyes, … repaid with people’s misunderstanding, complaining, staying away, and shunning, and they are repaid with cheating only, repaid with attacking only, and repaid with bitter fruits only. …” “When I see that people always deceive God, always have no will, or care for their flesh, or scramble for fame and gain and erect a flagpole for themselves, how can my heart not be extremely grieved? Why are people so insensible? Does what I do have no result at all? If your children are all unfilial ones who are undutiful to you, and all are conscienceless, only care about themselves, never show solicitude for your heart, and kick you out of the house when they grow up, how will you feel then? Won’t you be full of tears, recalling your painstaking care and effort in bringing them up?” While reading God’s words, I was already all tears. O God, you have expended so much painstaking care and price on us, yet we could not testify about you and glorify your holy name but did things that put your name to shame. Isn’t it what the man deserved that he received your punishment? However, I made complaints about this and never tried to understand your feelings. Where is my conscience? Am I still a believer in you? Who has ever understood your considerate intention? Who has ever understood your feelings of grief? I only knew to care for man’s suffering and grief but never thought of how much painstaking care and price you have expended to perfect a person, and how you feel about this person. When a person falls, how disappointed and grieved your heart will feel! O God, I really have misunderstood your intention too much. I am willing to take warning from this matter, summarize and absorb the lessons of this failure, and strive to be one who cares for your will.
Shijiazhuang City, Hebei Province