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God’s Word Freed Me from the Bondage of Emotions

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God’s Word Freed Me from the Bondage of Emotions

Because of the interpersonal ‘emotions,’ people forget me. Because of their emotions, people seize the chance to pick up their ‘conscience’ again. Because of their emotions, people are always tired of my chastisement. Because of their emotions, people always say that I am unjust and unrighteous, saying that I handle things without sparing their feelings. Do I also have ‘relatives’ on the earth? Who ever forgets his sleep and meals and works day and night as I do for all my management plan?” In the past I had notions about this passage of God’s words. Later, through a practical thing God arranged for me and being exposed by the fact, I acknowledged that everything God does is beneficial to men and meaningful.

On July 23, 2003, I was at a sister’s house on a visit, and at that time the sister’s niece was also there. At two o’clock in the afternoon, the little girl’s father came to fetch her. But she cried her eyes out and was unwilling to leave, screaming, “Mama! Mama! …” The sister’s whole family shed tears. Then I felt perplexed, and I asked the sister what the matter was. She said, “Her mother has run away with another man, and her two children are left uncared for. Children without a mother are so pitiful.”

At this word I not only did not try to discern it, but was affected by the scene. I thought to myself: My daughter is the same age as this little girl. She must also be like this when I am away from home…. As I thought, I could not hold back my tears. I felt from my heart that I was too indebted to my daughter. I even more felt that I was an incompetent mother and that I had never given my daughter the love of a mother to enjoy. The more I thought, the worse I felt. I even burst into a flood of tears. I was unwilling to perform my duty anymore; I only wanted to go home immediately to make up for my indebtedness to her. But I was afraid of offending God’s nature to incur punishment. My heart was very distressed. Just then God’s words guided me within: “Who can truly and entirely expend himself for me and entirely offer up himself for me? … Although you are now doing things for me in my presence, in your heart you are still thinking about your wife, children, and parents at home. Are all these your inheritance? Why not put them in my hands? Do you distrust me? Or do you fear that my arrangement for you is improper? Why are you constantly concerned about your family? Concerned about others! Have I occupied a certain position in your heart? You even said that you would let me be sovereign within you and occupy your whole being! It is totally a lie!” “Can’t people drop their flesh during this short time? … Can the sense of conscience blot out God’s image within man? Are one’s indebtedness to others and one’s doings to others created by people themselves? Can people make up for that? Who can keep himself? Can people supply themselves? Who is the strong in life? Who can live independently without ‘me’?” Guided by God’s words, I felt much enlightened within. What God says is well spoken. What is man? Aren’t my daughter’s life and my life in God’s hand? It is God who bestows everything on man, and even more, it is God who controls everything. I wanted to go home to show my daughter my love. Can my love for her surpass God’s love for her? Is my daughter’s life given by me? Without God’s care and keeping, who could live for one day in this world? The more I pondered over God’s words, the more enlightened I felt in my heart. I felt deeply that I overestimated my strength too much. And I felt deeply that emotion is indeed my fatal corruption, because it may cause me to alienate myself from God and forsake God at critical moments.

Next:I Was Not a True Believer in God

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