In September 2002, I was feeling very sick, so I went to the hospital for a medical examination. The doctor said that I got diabetes. At the news, I was very distressed and frightened. “Isn’t it a long-term illness?” Complaints sprang up immediately inside me: “Why doesn’t God give me a good health? Am I not performing my duty? Why does God allow this illness to befall me? Is God going to eliminate me? Alas! I think I will certainly be one to be eliminated by God. … Anyway, everything is in God’s hand, and I’ll just resign myself to the fate!” Just like this, I was always living in a passive state and under the power of darkness, full of misunderstandings and complaints about God. In my heart I also wanted to perform my duty, but I was always restrained by my illness. Before long, God’s family asked me to come out to do the work of hosting, and I agreed happily. But when I was told that I needed to climb stairs, I worried again: I’m already in poor health and weak all over. Am I able to climb stairs?
In the course of my performing duty, I was restrained by my illness all the time. Every day I always wanted to watch TV ads and considered what medicines could cure my illness. But the more I watched the TV ads, the more I felt distressed. Especially when I heard the word “diabetes,” my heart felt even worse. All day long, I was fretful. I was not attentive in eating and drinking God’s word and even less did I know to pray and look to God. Whoever I saw was disagreeable to me. The brothers and sisters came and fellowshipped with me, yet I turned a deaf ear to their words. One day, a sister asked me to listen to the CDs to check if there were any damaged. I took out all the CDs and started to listen one by one. There was a hymn from God’s word “One Has Testimony Only If He Has Genuine Faith” which goes, “Never complain in our heart; otherwise God won’t bestow grace. When we suffer illness, it is God’s love…. Although our flesh suffers, we should not accept the thoughts from satan. Praise God in our illness, and enjoy him in praising in praising. Don’t lose heart in illness. Keep seeking and don’t give up. God will enlighten and inspire you. How is Job’s faith Job’s faith? Almighty God is an almighty doctor! Living in illness, you will be ill. Living in spirit, you won’t be ill. As long as you still have one breath, God will not let you die.” When I heard this song, I felt very enlightened all at once. I thought to myself, “Isn’t my illness also in God’s hand? Today, even if one has one breath left, God will not let him die. When illness befalls him, there must be God’s good purpose. I had complaints and misunderstandings every day, and hadn’t I fallen into the trap of satan?” So, I made a resolution secretly: From now on, I can’t be occupied by the illness anymore. I must look to God and see through satan’s schemes. God lets me live one day and then I should live for God; to be dead or to be alive, I will let God manipulate in everything. I must imitate Job’s faith, praising God even in illness. So, I began to eat and drink God’s word every day. It was really that the more I read, the more I wanted to read; and the more I read, the more I felt God’s word was sweet. Living in the nourishment of God’s word, I was no longer restrained by the illness. And my body began to have strength, my complexion looked better, and my illness was gradually healed without any treatment from the hospital. It was truly like what God’s word says: “Living in illness, you will be ill. Living in spirit, you won’t be ill.”
O Almighty God, I thank you! It’s your word that gave me faith to overcome the demon of illness. Your word is a wonder drug, and your word is the life! From now on, I will perform my duty properly to repay your love and to satisfy your heart.
Suzhou City, Anhui Province