Because of my evil inherent nature, in order to seek temporary fleshly enjoyment and satisfy my evil passions and lusts, I overstepped the bounds of propriety in sexual matters. Afterward, I knew that I had offended God’s nature, so I thought I no longer had the opportunity to be saved by God, and I had an unspeakable pain in my heart. Although I performed my duty every day, I had been downhearted. I did not want to speak or see anyone, and was often in a trance, as if I had lost my soul. My former faith, resolution, perseverance, vision, all disappeared. I did everything without an aim, spending every day in fear.
When I was extremely anguished and disappointed, one day I read these words of God: “Some people, when they have a little transgression, suspect: Will I be struck down by God? This time God comes not to strike down man but to save man to the utmost. Who, as a man, can be without transgressions? If all were struck down, could that still be called salvation? Some of people’s transgressions are intentional and some involuntary. In the involuntary things, if you can get changed after knowing them, could God strike you down without waiting for you to be changed? Could God save man in this way? That is not the case! Whether you are involuntary or your disobedient inherent nature comes out, remember: Wake up promptly after the matter! Strive to make progress. Whatever situation occurs, just strive to make progress. What God does is the work to save man and he will not casually strike down those he wants to save.” God’s words were really a key to opening my heart; they made me instantly feel my mind broadened and also made me greatly comforted. Under the guidance of God’s words, I raised the sail of my life again. O God! Facing your great grace and deep love, I am deeply grateful and also feel terribly ashamed. Because of my evil and corruption, I was bold and unbridled before you and offended your nature and was deeply loathed by you, so that I lived in your chastisement. From this, I’ve seen your holiness, and even more, I’ve seen that what you do is to save man rather than to strike man down. From now on, I will pursue to get transformed and live out the likeness of a new man, so as to console your heart and repay your love.
Huaibei City, Anhui Province