On July 9, 2003, when the day was just dawning, I heard my two grandsons crying outdoors. After I opened the door and asked them, I came to know that their mother got angry and went away. I thought, “There is already my husband hindering me from attending the meetings. Now I have two more encumbrances. What should I do?”
After breakfast, my youngest daughter came. As soon as she entered, she asked, “The children are left to you. Where is my sister-in-law?” “She got angry and went away,” I replied. Unexpectedly, my daughter snapped at me, “I told you not to believe in God, but you wouldn’t listen. Now, my sister-in-law has gone and left the two children to you. How will you look after them? If she really doesn’t return, how will you go out to face others? Won’t you feel embarrassed?” Her words made me feel as if my heart had been stabbed. I thought, “O God, how come I have such a family? How should I walk my future path?”
While I was thinking, the brother of my daughter-in-law came aggressively. He made a threat against me, saying, “My sister has left home just because you believe in God and do not look after your grandsons. If you can’t get my sister back, I won’t finish with you!” At this time, my husband also spoke against me, “A happy life with food and drink you don’t choose to enjoy. You’re making your own misery! …” Thus, under heavy siege by satan, I suffered agony and felt that I really had no way out. I thought, “I’m nearly seventy. Why should I cause family discord because of my belief in God? Let God punish me in the future. I’ll choose a harmonious family….” When I was thinking to leave God, however, God’s words inspired me: “Do remember! Do remember! In everything there is my good purpose, and it is I who search in it. Can you walk in my word in your every word and deed? When fiery tests come, will you bow your knees and shout or will you flinch and be unable to go forward?”
“You need to have my courage added within you, and also need to have principles before your unbelieving family members. But moreover, for my sake you should not yield to any of the powers of darkness. Walk the perfect way by my wisdom. Don’t let satan’s plot succeed. Do your best to put your heart before me, and I will surely comfort you and make your heart peaceful and joyful. Seek not how you will be before men. Isn’t it of more value and more weight to satisfy me? Isn’t it everlasting joy and peace in all your life? The present suffering means that your future blessing will be great beyond description.” Pondering over God’s words and looking at what came upon me, I understood God’s intention: God has arranged the people, matters, and things to perfect me. He is testing if I can view them in light of God’s words, if I can see through satan’s schemes, and if I have faith to break through satan’s siege and stand on God’s side. The inspiration of God’s words gave me strength. I’ll practice the truth. I can’t die under satan’s authority. I should live for satisfying God. Thus, even if I will die in the future, I can feel sweet, for only if I satisfy God will my life be worthy and meaningful.
When I made up my mind to satisfy God, the circumstances around me calmed down. And a few days later, my daughter-in-law also came back. From this, I experienced the wonder and wisdom of God’s working and also saw my ugly performance of grumbling at God because of having no truth when encountering things. I am such a filthy maggot, yet God still arranged the circumstances to test me and refine my faith. I feel that God loves me so much. At this moment, I can’t help singing the hymn “O God How Should I Requite You”: “When satan was besieging me, you rescued me with the sharp sword. O God! … When I triumphed together with you, you were beaming with joy.” O God, from now on, I will equip myself with more of your words, so that I can uphold the testimony for you in everything that comes upon me.
Zhoukou City, Henan Province