In January 2002, I got divorced and my less-than-four-year-old son was adjudged to my husband. In the days after my divorce, I got an opportunity to perform my duty in God’s family, but I often missed my lovely son.
Once, when I was waiting for the bus, I suddenly saw my son, whom I had not seen for more than one year, strolling in the street with his father. I recklessly ran to him and picked him up. Tears blurred my eyes. I kept calling his name and asked him: “Recognize me? Now call me mom….” But he remained silent as if he did not know me. Then, his father heartlessly drove me away, not allowing me to see the child. I helplessly watched him taking son away, further and further. At that moment, my heart was nearly broken.
On the bus, I recalled the several short minutes of meeting with my son and wondered when I could see him again. Tears once again streamed down my face and I felt as if a knife were piercing my heart. In spite of myself, I began to complain about God, “O God, the child is also mine. Do I not even have the right to see him?” When I was in agony, God’s words rose in my mind: “Man’s existence is based on the repeating reincarnation of his soul. That is to say, every man has the life of his flesh when his soul is reincarnated. After man’s flesh is born, this life starts to extend to the greatest limit of his flesh, that is, to the last moment when his soul comes out of its shell. This repeats over and over again, and man’s soul comes and goes and goes and comes. In this way, the existence of the whole mankind is maintained. …” “Believers and unbelievers are not compatible with each other but against each other. Those in the rest will all be the ones who believe that there is God and who obey God, and all the disobedient ones will have been destroyed. There will be no families on earth. How could there be such relationships as parents and children or husband and wife? All these fleshly relationships will have been cut off because believers and unbelievers are incompatible with each other! …” Ah! God’s words are spoken so plainly. Man’s soul comes and goes, and goes and comes. In my eyes my son is my own flesh and blood, but what his substance is I do not know, for man comes into existence through the reincarnation of his soul. Man’s life comes from God; this shows that I have no relationship with my son. If now I still cannot see through this, am I not too ignorant? If now I still entangle myself in my emotion and thus delay performing my duty, will I not grieve God too much? God elaborately arranges the surrounding people, matters, and things to perfect those who truly believe in and love him. The child was adjudged to my husband, through which God made a way out for me so that I had the opportunity to expend for God. Today husband did not allow me to see the child and this can make me give up my emotion all the more. If today the child wanted me and husband also allowed me to see the child, then my fleshly desire might become greater and my emotion would become stronger. In that case, could I keep my mind on performing my duty? All these arrangements are God’s love and keeping for me. I thank God and praise God! I am willing to drop all my emotion and pursue a worthy, meaningful life!
Weifang City, Shandong Province