This February, God’s family gave me a commission—to write testimony articles. I read in the work arrangement these words, “The testimonies written by some little-educated people can be more solid and effective. This should not be ignored. If those written by the highly educated people are full of empty doctrines, they are of no use.” I was quite unconvinced of these words then: How can the little-educated people write articles? Isn’t it hard on them? Ought to ask the literate and educated people to write. Only they can write good articles. Such people as me who have a senior-high-school education are just about capable. So, in my spare time I often fellowshipped with the brothers and sisters, “To write good articles, one must have literacy quality. This is a prerequisite, a precondition. The little-educated people can’t even write characters properly; how can they write out articles worthy to be read? Impossible!” I considered this view of mine quite right, and I firmly believed that it would be a cinch for me to write out good articles by my literacy and quality, or rather, my articles would certainly be better than others’. Thus, I lived in self-satisfaction and self-appreciation.
But before long, I was surprised when I read many articles written by the little-educated brothers and sisters. Though without flowery language, they were plain and genuine, lively and touching, forceful in testifying about God, and convincing. My articles, however, got such a comment: The articles are rhetorical, full of letters and doctrines, and unconvincing. Looking at this word, I really could not believe that it was directed at me. I thought, “Has it been mistaken? My articles are not good? I feel them good! Could my articles be unconvincing as far as my literacy is concerned? How could they be commented as being full of doctrines? …” At that time, I was really not convinced at all. I could not accept others’ true comment, much less take their advice. I still stuck to my own view and went my own way. Gradually, I became poorer and poorer within, and the articles I wrote appeared very dull and powerless. Later, I got to the point where I often digressed in my articles. It could be said “A thousand words from the pen in a stream, but ten thousand li away from the subject.” What’s the matter with me? I never thought that I would cut such a sorry figure. It is too incredible! Then I thought and thought but still did not figure out why, only feeling distracted and restless. Faced with the article I wanted to write, I did not know how to start it. I sat in the chair, sometimes being covered with sweat and sometimes being insensate like a wooden chicken. At night I could not sleep well, and in the daytime I was exhausted and listless. I felt anxious in my heart but was helpless. All day long, I was absent-minded and muddle-headed, and my spirits were very low. “Good Heavens! What is wrong with me? How come I’ve got into such a plight?” Hopeless, I fell down before God to seek his intention. When I read God’s words, “Man’s mind especially hinders the work of the Holy Spirit. Man has rich imagination, logical reasoning, and old experience in handling things. If these are not pruned and corrected, they all are hindrances in the work,” I felt suddenly enlightened as if beholding the sun blazing forth from a cloudy sky. I immediately understood why I, who had been quite “rich,” became so “poor” today. It turned out that my arrogance and self-rightness had hindered the Holy Spirit’s working and thus I was exposed by God. I always considered that I had a high quality and could surely write better than others. Thus, I wrote articles by my mind and imagination and denied the work arrangement. I was really too arrogant! The Almighty God’s work against man’s notion exposed my ugly self thoroughly, so that I could not but become submissive before God. I saw that apart from God’s work, I was so poor, pitiful, and good for nothing. I regarded my notion as the truth and even wantonly preached it to others. I was really too ignorant and absurd.
Thank the Almighty God that his exposing has made me see my lack and deficiency and know my arrogance and self-rightness. Without the working of the Holy Spirit, no matter how high one’s quality is, he cannot testify about God well. Thank the Almighty God that his wonderful work greatly kept me. Otherwise, I would still have lived in self-appreciation, not knowing my limitations.
Suzhou City, Anhui Province