It Could Not Repay My Indebtedness to God Even If I Were Torn Limb From Limb
Shenyang City, Liaoning Province
My name is Yao Qingping. I believed in Jesus in 1992. Later I became a leader in ChinaFellowship, shepherding more than six hundred people. In 1998, I heard some rumors about “ ” from my upper co-worker, which said, “They are of an underworld organization and they have no clear boundaries between the two sexes. They will receive 150,000 yuan if they convert a leader and 20,000 yuan an ordinary believer. If one withdraws after accepting their way, they will break his legs, disfigure his face, or cut off his ears. …” Hearing these rumors that could not stand up, I believed them without making any discernment and couldn’t help feeling hatred toward the believers in “Eastern Lightning.” After I went back to , I wantonly spread the rumors I had heard and said angrily, “They say that God has come, and they have even changed the name of Jesus, saying that the name is . These are pure lies. Never believe them. If anyone comes to your home to preach, don’t let him in. If he gives you books, never read them. Hand them over to the church to be burned together.” From then on, I began to rush about “guarding the flock” and regarded the preachers of Almighty God as enemies. As a result, I committed many conscienceless and hair-raising crimes.
Once, I remember, when I learned that a sister had accepted a book of God’s word, without a word I immediately rushed to her home and forced her to take the book to the church to be burned in public. Later, at a meeting, I found the sister who had sent the book of God’s word also came. Immediately, I fiercely ordered her to stand out and said to the brothers and sisters, “Have a good look at her. She is one who preaches ‘Eastern Lightning.’ From now on, none of you should contact her.” Then, I pushed her out of the door, not allowing her to say anything at all, and warned her not to come again. After driving her away, I warned the brothers and sisters again, “Even if your parents have accepted ‘Eastern Lightning’ and come to preach it to you, you cannot accept it. I am no exception.”
At another time, a sister who preached God’s end-time work came to my home to preach the gospel to me. Before I listened to her, I, like a shrew, called her “shameless.” Then I picked up the phone and dialed “110” for the police to arrest her. Even when I saw that the sister was taken away by the police, I still didn’t work off my anger. I opened the door, chased her outside, and cursed unceasingly until the police car disappeared.
At still another time, on an early morning, a young sister called me and said that a preacher of Almighty God came to her home again. I hung up and ran all the way to her home. There I saw an old sister of about seventy standing outside the young sister’s door. She was formerly of our church but later believed in Almighty God. I asked angrily, “So early you are. What do you come here for?” The old sister said sincerely, “God has been incarnated on earth to save man. He worries…” I stopped her and said, “It’s you who worry. You don’t walk the right path….” As we talked, the door opened. When the old sister was just about to enter, the young sister gave her a sudden push, and the old sister reeled back and almost fell down. Then the young sister said to me in a huff, “Dial ‘110’ for the police?” I said, “Go ahead.” At this time, the old sister wanted to leave, but I forcibly stopped her. In order to stall for time, I said craftily, “Don’t leave. Since it’s not easy for you to be here, let’s have a fellowship.” Regardless of the danger to herself, the old sister began to testify to me about the new work of Almighty God. While listening to her absent-mindedly, I stole glances at the road from time to time, expecting the police car to come soon. Seeing that I had no good intention, the old sister tried to leave several times, but each time I stopped her maliciously. When I watched the two policemen throw the tottering silver-haired old sister into the police car, I told the policemen, gnashing my teeth, “It’s not onlythat she has got now. There are other things at her house. Go to search them!”
Just in that way, I used the most ruthless means to frenziedly disgrace and abuse those who preached the new work of Almighty God and handed them over to the police time and time again.
Just when I was resisting and blaspheming Almighty God recklessly, God’s curses came upon me one after another. My husband got lung cancer and soon died; immediately after, my beloved grandson got leukemia and also died. However, such heavy blows didn’t wake me up. At each meeting, I still led the brothers and sisters to declare one by one: Curse “Eastern Lightning” in the name of Jesus. And all those who didn’t declare were driven out of the church. In order to “protect” the brothers and sisters, I had really racked my brains in scheming and exhausted all my abilities. However, the church didn’t become prosperous because of my “faithfulness,” but on the contrary, it became more and more desolate. The faith and love of the believers faded away; the co-workers had nothing to preach; the envy and strife among the brothers and sisters arose one after the other; and the whole church fell apart. Especially after we cursed “Eastern Lightning,” disasters came upon us one after another: A sister got cerebral cancer; a brother whose family members were all believers got cerebral hemorrhage and was unable to walk all along; a co-worker’s husband got sick and suddenly died after this co-worker, who had accepted “Eastern Lightning” and then was dragged back, proclaimed the curse on “Eastern Lightning”; another co-worker had a car accident and lay unconscious for over ten days in a few days after he proclaimed the curse on “Eastern Lightning”; the son of a believer, whose family members were all believers, was struck by lightning and died; the husband of a sister of a host family died in a car accident; and when we four co-workers took a three-wheeler to go to work, somehow, the three-wheeler was overturned into a ditch from the smooth road….
In the face of these natural and man-made calamities, I was at a complete loss. “Believers inshould have the Lord’s care and keeping, but why do we have all these calamities?” I fell into extreme weakness. Utterly distressed, I came before God and prayed, “O ! I don’t know why these things have happened and such a condition has appeared in our church. I don’t know what I have done to offend you. O Lord! What exactly is all this about? Please guide me and let me understand….”
In May 2003, when I was working somewhere with a sister, we met several brothers and sisters who preached the gospel. One brother fellowshipped, “If one believes in God yet cannot keep up with the footsteps of the Lamb, he will be cast away. God’s work is always progressing forward. God is an ever-new and never-old God and he does not repeat his work. God’s work features a word ‘new’ and a word ‘amazing.’ …” What the brother fellowshipped was what I had never heard before, and it made me receive great supply. Then, the brother fellowshipped about the three stages of the work of God saving man: God was called Jehovah in the Age of the Law and issued the law to lead people to live; God was called Jesus in the Age of the Grace and was nailed onto the cross to redeem mankind; God expresses words to purify people in the Age of the Kingdom of the last days and is called Almighty God. At these words, a wave of panic swept over me. “Oh, my! I’m finished. Aren’t those who say that God has done a new work and has changed to a new name the people of ‘Eastern Lightning’?” Without a word, I stood up and went straight to the bathroom. As I washed my hands, I thought back to the rumors I had heard before about “Eastern Lightning.” The more I thought about them, the more I felt afraid. “At usual times, I tell the brothers and sisters to stay away from them, but today I have delivered myself to them. I don’t know yet what they will do to me! No, I must try to leave here.” At this time, the sister of the host family came. I asked her angrily, “Are they of ‘Eastern Lightning’?” The sister said, “Yes!” I questioned her furiously, “Don’t you know that they are of an underworld organization? If you don’t accept what they preach, they will disfigure your face or break your legs. And they have no clear line between the two sexes and commit adultery.” The sister said, “Have you seen all these with your own eyes?” “I…” To tell the truth, I really didn’t see these, but I still quibbled, “There must be these things. If not, why does everyone say so?” The sister said, “Sister, just think about it: We have been in contact with these brothers and sisters for such a long time; have you ever seen those things? There are some co-workers in our church who had accepted their way and then turned back, but none of them has lost his arms or legs. We have handed their people over to the police, yet they have not made trouble for us. Aren’t we all safe and sound now? If they were really of an underworld organization, would they not take revenge on us? Would we still be in such a peace? Why don’t you believe the facts laid before our eyes but stubbornly believe those groundless rumors? You see, we curse ‘Eastern Lightning’ every day, but they are getting better and better, whereas disasters and curses befall us frequently. Aren’t these worth our consideration?” The sister said and wept. In the end, she sincerely consulted with me and said, “Do you think it’s all right that today we first hear their fellowship out? If you don’t think it is right, you can refuse to accept it. None of them will force you. I’d stake my life on it that I will get you home safely!” Her sincere words woke me up. “Ah, yes! Why do I believe the rumors instead of the facts? Actually, through my contact and fellowship with these brothers and sisters, I feel a deep admiration for their living out of humanity. They speak and do things in a proper way and have clear boundaries between the two sexes, which is not like what the rumors say at all.” And when I thought about the condition of our church and the misfortunes that befell the brothers and sisters and me one after another, I began to doubt whether my actions and behavior were right. I thought to myself, “Have I really resisted the true God?” So, I cried out to God, “O Lord! Have you really come back? If it’s your work, I’m willing to drop myself and obey you. Please open my foolish heart. May your Spirit guide me….” After the prayer, I felt very calm in my heart. So, I decided to stay and bring the whole thing to light. After I returned to the room, we continued to fellowship. The brother fellowshipped about each of the three stages of God’s work clearly, and I was sincerely convinced by that. Then I said, “The three-stage work that you have fellowshipped about is reasonable. But if you say the Lord has already come back, then how do you explain Acts 1:11, which says that the Lord will come back in the same way he went?” The brother found us the verses such as Jude 1:14, 2 Peter 3:10, 2 Thessalonians 1:7, and so on, and said, “These verses also speak of the Lord’s coming, but none of them says that he will come on a white cloud. Jude 1:14 says that the Lord is coming with thousands upon thousands of his holy ones; 2 Thessalonians 1:7 says that the Lord is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his angels; and 2 Peter 3:10 says that the day of the Lord will come like a thief. These verses have shown us that we cannot conclude how the Lord will actually come. If we only stick to our belief that the Lord will come on a white cloud, isn’t this taking something out of context? Actually, the prophecies in the Bible cannot be understood according to man’s imaginations or speculations, for God’s thoughts are always higher than man’s thoughts and God’s thoughts are unfathomable to any man. The Scripture says, ‘…for the letter kills, but the spirit gives life,’ (2 Corinthians 3:6) and ‘…for theof Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.’ (Revelation 19:10) If we judge how the Lord will come according to the letters and wait for and welcome the Lord’s coming according to the letters, aren’t we going to our doom?” Then, the brother opened the book of God’s word and read these words, “People all think this way: Jesus returned on a white cloud to the right hand of the Most High in heaven after being crucified and resurrected; likewise, he will descend still on a white cloud (which refers to the cloud on which Jesus returned to heaven), in the Jewish image and in Jewish garment, among mankind who have been eagerly expecting him for thousands of years; after appearing to them, he will bestow food to them, pour out living water to them, and live among them full of grace and full of lovingkindness, living and real; and so on; all of which are what they think in their notions. However, Jesus the Savior did not do so. What he did was just contrary to man’s notions. He did not descend among those who eagerly expect him to return and did not appear to all men on the ‘white cloud.’ He has already descended, but people do not recognize him, nor do they know it, and they are just waiting for him aimlessly. Little do they know that he has already descended on the white cloud (the white cloud refers to his Spirit, his word, and all his disposition and being) among a group of overcomers he will make in the end time!” I listened quietly, feeling gripped by the words he had read. After hearing that, I suddenly felt that my foolish heart was opened. I had limited God’s work to the letters of the Bible, thinking that the Lord Jesus would come on a physical white cloud in the sky when he came back. Only through the exposing of God’s word did I know that the white cloud referred to God’s Spirit, God’s word, God’s entire disposition and being. I had only held on to one verse in the Bible but hadn’t made an overall investigation, and I had only paid attention to the literal meaning of the prophecies but had not understood the Spirit of them. And I had drawn a fixed conclusion about the way of the Lord’s coming. How foolish I was! However, I still didn’t understand why God’s name must be changed. So, I asked the brother, “Why is God not called Jesus but Almighty God when he comes this time?” The brother patiently looked up the verses in the Bible for us (Revelation 1:8, 4:8, 11:17, 15:3, 16:7, 19:6), and then he opened the book of God’s word and passed it to me. I read these words, “So, the name ‘Jesus’ represents the redemptive work and also represents the Age of the Grace. The name ‘Jehovah’ was a special name taken for the sake of the people of Israel under the law. In each age and in each stage of work, my name has representative meaning and is not without a basis. That is, each name represents one age. ‘Jehovah’ represents the Age of the Law and is a respectful address by which the Israelites called the God they worshiped. ‘Jesus’ represents the Age of the Grace and is the name of the God of all those who were redeemed in the Age of the Grace. If in the end time people still expect that the Savior Jesus would descend and descend still in the image that he had in Judea, then the entire six-thousand-year management plan would stop at the Age of the Redemption and could not advance any further, and the end time would never come and the age would never end. This is because ‘Jesus the Savior’ is only the One who redeemed mankind and saved mankind, and I took the name ‘Jesus’ only for the sake of all the sinners in the Age of the Grace, not for the purpose of ending the whole mankind. Although Jehovah, Jesus, and Messiah all represent my Spirit, these several names only represent the different ages in my management plan and do not represent my all. The names by which people on earth call me cannot thoroughly express all my disposition and being, and it is only that they call me by different addresses in different ages. So when the final age, that is, the last age, comes, my name will still change. I will not be called Jehovah or Jesus, much less Messiah, but the powerful Almighty God Godself, with which name I will end the entire age.”
After reading those words, I was fully certain that they were words expressed by God, because no human being could say them. Even a great spiritual figure was unable to explain the significance of God’s name so plainly and clearly. Only God Godself could explain his will clearly and unlock the mysteries of his work. Then I thought of all my past deeds of condemning and resisting God, and a twinge of fear went through me. “The evil deeds that I have done are really too numerous to record! Will God still want a person like me who has disobeyed and resisted him like this?” When I spoke what was on my mind, the brother opened the book of God’s word and read these words, “God only does the work with the word, and he does not punish people for their little disobedience, because now is the time he is doing the work of. If he punished people once they are disobedient, then all people would have no opportunity to be saved but would be punished and fall into Hades.” “During the time God is doing the work of salvation, he will save to the utmost all those who can be saved and will not cast off any one of them, because the purpose of his work is to save man.” “… If people really have a heart that thirsts for God, God will not abandon them.” By then, I had already choked with sobs. I regretted that I had been so arrogant, self-right, foolish, and blind before that I had committed the sin of blaspheming the Holy Spirit and had stopped so many brothers and sisters from coming before God. I was really a wicked servant who deserved to die ten thousand times. When I thought of those sisters I had sent to prison, I was even more overwhelmed with sorrow and felt sharp distress. “Do I have the likeness of a believer in God? I’m simply a beast impervious to reason!” I fell down before God and prayed, “O Almighty God! I’m a great sinner who deserves to be cut to bits. I have done evil and have entrapped so many people, so I should be cursed and go to hell. But your great love still comes upon me and you still give me an opportunity to repent. I really feel too ashamed to show my face. I could not repay my indebtedness to you even if I were torn limb from limb. O God! From now on, I will consecrate my whole being to you, live for you and let you use me at will so as to console your heart.”
After I accepted the new work of Almighty God, I felt absurd and ridiculous about the statements I had believed without any doubt before, such as those about how much money one would receive if he converted a believer. I had even believed those so childish and questionable lies before and had drawn conclusions about God and denied God’s new work according to them. I was indeed a perfect fool and an ignorant base person. In fact, the brothers and sisters in God’s family rushed about in the teeth of wind and rain and endured humiliations in preaching the gospel, because they had understood God’s eager intention to save man and were fully aware of the pain man suffered after falling into darkness. Therefore, they all did their utmost to expend themselves for God. They made no demand and sought no reward but only sought to repay God’s love and satisfy God’s heart. The rumor that “they have no clear line between the two sexes and commit adultery” was sheer nonsense, for God is a holy God and he hates all evil and adulterous things. It is stipulated in Article 4 of the Administrative Decrees, “Man has corrupt disposition and even more has emotion. So, in the service in coordination, two people of different sexes are forbidden to coordinate alone. If discovered, they shall be expelled, no matter who they are.” Besides, in the truths expressed by Almighty God, I also realized these: Although man has been redeemed by Jesus, he has not gotten rid of his corrupt disposition. So he must be judged by Almighty God before he can be purified and be delivered from satan’s influence and influence of darkness. Therefore, we can only be made perfect by accepting God’s work ofand chastisement in the last days, because the word of Almighty God is precisely the truth, the way, and the life, and Almighty God is precisely the returned Jesus and God Godself who brings mankind into the pleasant destination.
Dear brothers and sisters, God has expended so much painstaking care, paid so many prices, and endured so many blasphemies, persecutions, and rejections in doing the work in Mainland China this time. We have grieved God’s heart too much, and the opportunities for us now are limited. I hope that brothers and sisters can take warning from my past. Don’t be deceived by the rumors and condemn Almighty God’s work anymore. God says, “As a believer in Jesus, no one has the right to curse or condemn others. You all should be ones who have sense and accept the truth.” Now, God’s work has drawn to a close. Quickly open the door of your heart and the door of your house to welcome the gospel messengers and accept the salvation of Almighty God!