Having God’s Guidance, I Was No Longer Lonely
When I had just quit my job and was ready to make an all-out effort to perform my duty in God’s family, I was isolated because of persecution. During that period, I passed every day as if it were a year. From a little past six in the morning I started my wandering life, and I could not go home until seven in the evening (because at that time, in order to perform my duty, I deliberately hid the truth from my family and told them I was still working). One day, a sister paged me, and after answering her call, I hurried to her home excitedly. On seeing her and several other sisters, I asked gladly, “Is it that I can perform my duty now?” “No, we just want to ask you about a gospel clue,” she replied. All at once my heart sank. I wanted to fellowship with them a while longer, but the sister said, “We are going to have a meeting today; you’d better leave now.” At that time, I forcedly held back my tears and left with heavy steps. In the whirling snow, I wandered up and down the street, lonely and aimless, looking at the vast crowds. Alas! Where can I find a place to stay? My tears of grievance could no longer be held back and flowed down. I thought: Everyone else has a duty to perform, and can have meetings, fellowship, and enjoy God’s word together with other brothers and sisters. It is only I who am left unattended; I dare not go home or go to the church, and all the brothers and sisters “keep away from me” when they see me. Loneliness, solitude, restlessness, and helplessness swept through me all at once. How should I walk the path ahead? Would I just loaf about in the streets to kill time every day?
At that moment, I suddenly remembered God’s words: “In the future, everyone will walk the path he should walk under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Who can care for others when undergoing the tribulation? Everyone has his own sufferings, and each one has his own stature. One’s stature is different from another’s. Husbands are unable to take care of their wives, and parents are unable to take care of their children either. No one is able to take care of others. It won’t be like now when people are still able to care for or sustain each other. That time will be the time to reveal each kind of people. … People will have to keep what they have and walk their final stretch of journey. Now, you all cannot see through things and are shortsighted. It is not easy to experience this step of the work successfully.” Ah, yes! When undergoing the tribulation, who is able to take care of anyone else? Why do I always want others to care for me? I have God! I am not walking this path alone. Having God walking along with me, I won’t be lonely. Just as God’s words say, I should keep what I have to walk the final part of the way properly. Then I remembered we always fellowshipped in the past that God’s present intention was to save man and was on the gospel work. Although I can’t contact the brothers and sisters and preach the gospel together with them, I can look for gospel clues by myself and can preach the gospel to the people of my former denomination. At the moment, I no longer felt lonely or felt that I had nothing to do and was a useless person. Instead, I felt there were many things waiting for me to do.
In the following days, I preached the gospel in the daytime, and after getting home in the evening, I used the short time to equip myself with God’s word and learn the hymns by heart. And I gained three people by relying on God. During the two weeks of my being isolated, I felt that my relationship with God not only did not become estranged, but on the contrary became closer. When I lived independently, I felt all the more that I could not be away from God even for a second. O God! I thank you from my heart. It is you who have made me see your deeds in my practical experiences. I have truly tasted that having the guidance of the Holy Spirit and having your word as my beacon lighting up my way forward, I am not lonely anymore. I thank you even more that you gave me a chance to exercise living an independent life. At the moment, I couldn’t help singing the hymn: “O God! I have given my heart to you, waiting for your guidance at every time. Although the way is rough and uneven, I am willing to go forward following you. I remember that I once swore to you: I will pledge my life to repay your love. With you as my guide, I am contented, going forward in your footstep. With you as my guide, I am contented, going forward in your footstep. With you guiding me, I am contented, and I am willing to follow you regardless of wind or rain!”
Cangzhou City, Hebei Province