In August 2003, due to the development of our area I earned a sum of money. At that time, moved by the Holy Spirit, I made up my mind to consecrate a tenth of my income to God’s family. While I walked toward the host home with the money, I was very pleased with myself, “None of you can compare with me. Who loves God as I do? I consecrate so much money without the slightest hesitation. This time I will have a position before the brothers and sisters and will be in the limelight.” As I thought about it, I even compared myself with Abraham who offered Isaac….
When I got to the host home, my heart sank: How come there is not even a bike in the yard today? Every day there were many people here. Today when I come to consecrate, why is nobody here? Only a young brother is at home. Ay! Will I not be able to earn a reputation for consecrating so much? I became hesitant: I may as well not take out the money. Come another day when many people are here…. When I was about to turn away, the young brother said, “Uncle, would you like to read God’s word?” I took the book of God’s word reluctantly and began to read. While I was reading, I was shocked by God’s words. God says: “You had better exert some effort on the truths of knowing oneself. Why does God not appreciate you? Why is your nature loathed by him? Why is your speaking hated by him? You boast about yourselves when you are a bit faithful, want a reward when you make some contribution, … and want to be blessed and want to be different from others when you offer ten coppers. Such humanity of yours is simply unspeakable and is intolerable to the ear. What do you have to boast of in your words and acts? …” Reading God’s words and thinking of my expression of a moment ago, I realized my actual state: When making a little consecration, I wanted to show off myself and looked down upon others, and I even shamelessly compared myself with Abraham who offered Isaac. In the presence of the fact, I saw my lowliness and my contemptible intent. I wanted to win others’ admiration when consecrating a little money. O God, today I have known that my all comes from you. The tenth of my income is bestowed by you, and I ought to consecrate it. What qualifications do I have to show off and parade myself? O God, thank you for your exposing and inspiration. It is your words that have opened my eyes to my true self. Before, I never knew myself. Only today have I seen that I am actually so contemptible and ugly. O God, I am willing to drop the wrong things and pursue to be a person who has sense and humanity.
Heze City, Shandong Province