During the previous period, I hosted a brother. I felt that he did not seem a leader; thus, since he came to my home I had never bought any vegetables, grudging spending even one penny on him, and had never showed care for his living. One day, a sister came to my home to arrange work for the brother. Seeing that the sister was higher than the brother in “rank,” I thought to myself, “Today, I must buy some food and make a good impression on the leader, lest she say I do hosting poorly.” So, I hurried to a small store and bought one catty of fried fish. The sister, however, would not eat at my home. I felt very disappointed. When I heard the sister say, before she left, that she would come again in two days, I brightened up: Not so bad, there’s still a chance to exhibit myself. So the next day, I went to the store again and bought half catty of melon seeds, and reserved them for entertaining the leader. I waited several days but the leader did not come. Thus, because my purpose to exhibit myself was not fulfilled, I always felt very regretful, and unconsciously I became darkened within.
One day, when I ate and drank God’s word, I read these words: “Some people do not love the truth, much less judgment, but love power and money. Such people are called snobs. … They say with their mouths words of expending for God, but they set their eyes on the great pastors and teachers…. As they only think highly of position, fame, and power….” Am I not one whom God’s words expose? Am I not a sheer snob? The ones who came to my home were both brothers and sisters of God’s family. However, in such a long time when the brother stayed in my home, I had never spent one penny on him and never showed concern for his living. But when the leader came, I tried to curry favor with her by buying fried fish and melon seeds. Am I not a snob who treats people according to their position? Am I not a person who lives by the satanic philosophy of life? Today, God has bestowed all the truths to me, yet I did not treat every brother and sister according to God’s word but cared for their fame and position. I am full of the poisons of the great red dragon. I am really disgusting and loathsome to God! O God, thank you that you have exposed me through the people, matters, and things, causing me to see my ugly self. Otherwise, I would not have known myself. O God, from now on, I will accept your searching in everything, pursue the truth and the transformation of my nature, treat people according to the truth, act according to your word, and be a person after your heart.
Jining City, Shandong Province