I Am Not One Who Accepts the Truth
In April 2003, uplifted by God, I came to a new place to serve as the small-district leader. At a meeting not long after that, one of my assistants seriously pointed out my defect in working, saying that I spoke in a harsh tone and liked to dominate others. Hearing that, I was filled with anger. I really wanted to strike back at her directly: “How long have you been working? Why don’t you look at the results of your own work? You supervise me every day; you’ve simply become a ‘supervisor’! Who will not express corruptions when he first begins to work? Who has no defects? You are simply finding fault with me!” But for fear that others would say I was unreasonable, I had to swallow my anger and admit my defect.
In the following few days, the assistant’s words often flashed in my mind. I was so disturbed that I was in no mood to do my work and completely lived in darkness and distress. Helpless, I opened the book of God’s word, hoping to get a bit of comfort from it. I came across these words: “If you workers … do not learn from each other, fellowship with each other, or complement each other, where else can you learn lessons from? When you encounter something, you should fellowship with each other, so that it can be beneficial to your life. In everything, you should fellowship about it carefully before making a decision. Only this means you are responsible for the church and are not slipshod. After going around the church, gather together again and fellowship about all the problems you have discovered and all the difficulties you have encountered in working, and fellowship about the inspiration and enlightenment you have received. This is an indispensable practice in your service. For God’s work, for the interests of the church, and for helping all the brothers and sisters to be up, you should have a harmonious coordination, coordinating with each other and complementing each other, to achieve better results in the work, so as to care for God’s will. Only this can be called true coordination, and only such people are ones who truly enter in.” After reading this passage, I felt deeply guilty. The assistant showed me my defect for the sake of the work of God’s family, without any wrong intent; and what she said was the fact. However, I did not accept that from the angle of the truth but was full of complaints and took it to heart. Am I not a person who doesn’t accept the truth? Am I not a person who doesn’t dare to face up to the truth of the matter? I only like to hear flattering words and pleasing words; this is the devilish nature of the great red dragon and is what God loathes. God requires that we imitate the service of the Israelites and be able to complement each other, fellowship with each other, and coordinate harmoniously, so that we can do well the work committed by God. However, like an untouchable tiger, I did not want to face reality, did not want to hear harsh but well-meant and helpful words, and did not allow others to point out my defects. How then could I do well the commission God has given me? O God, your words have awakened me. I have seen that I was too arrogant and self-right and did not accept the truth. From now on, I will face reality frankly, be a person who dares to accept the truth, coordinate with the brothers and sisters harmoniously, and work in concert with them to complete the commission you have given us.
Jincheng City, Shanxi Province