Once, I saw that a leader in our locality fell because of losing his position. I thought: It is too dangerous for one to be a leader; he will have either a big rise or a big fall. Just as it is said, one who climbs high will fall heavily. I will not pursue to be a leader, who, if exposed, will be finished. I’d better be a follower quietly. Since then, I had followed without haste and without rest, for fear of being greatly used by God’s family.
In this spring, a brother informed me to go somewhere for a meeting. I kept wondering in my heart: Why am I asked to go? What kind of meeting is it? A few days ago I heard that several more second-line teams would be established in the small district. Will I be asked to… Sure enough, the sister in charge of the work assigned me to lead a second-line team to a place to develop the gospel work there. What shall I do? If I refuse it, it is an arrangement of God’s family, and refusing the commission is rebelling against God. If I accept it and if I fail to do it well and am exposed, won’t my years of pursuing, abandoning, and expending be all ruined? The more I thought, the more I was afraid, cold sweat oozing from my forehead.
When I was in a dilemma, the sister in charge of the work said, “Some brothers and sisters, when they first receive a commission, always have misgivings in their heart and are afraid of being exposed. They think that taking charge of a work is a dangerous job and they will either make a great success or suffer a total failure, so they dare not accept the commission of God’s family. Let’s think: Does God give people commissions in order to expose them and then eliminate them?” As she spoke, the sister opened The Summary of Christ’s Preachings and Conversations and read these words: “Now it is according to man’s expression that his outcome is determined…. This expression refers to whether you have faithfulness to God, whether you have love for God, whether you put the truth into practice, and to what extent you have been transformed. It is according to this expression that man is condemned, not according to how much corrupt nature he has expressed. If you think so, you misinterpret God’s meaning. … God knows best the things deep in man. You needn’t hide them. God searches hearts and minds. You work above and have expressed many corruptions, and God has seen them. If you didn’t work and hadn’t expressed them, would God not know these corruptions? … According to your imagination, the followers below would all gain salvation in the end, whereas these leaders would all be finished. If you do not perform the duty given to you, it is not right; if you perform the duty, you always express corruptions in spite of yourself. You simply seem to be sent to the scaffold. If man’s outcome were determined according to his inherent nature, no one could be saved. If it were really so, where would God’s righteousness be? It would not be seen. You all have misunderstood God’s meaning.” God’s words made me feel assured and brightened in my heart. If one fails, it is because he is unfaithful in the commission given by God and does not pursue entering into the truth or walk toward the right way. How could the commission given by God be to blame? I was really a muddleheaded person, confusing right and wrong and reversing black and white. Such sayings as “one who takes charge of the work will have either a big rise or a big fall” and “one who climbs high will fall heavily” are all satan’s humbug, and are too absurd! If my nature is not transformed, even if I am the least of the followers, I will not be saved. I remember God’s word says: “You should know that if someone can achieve success, it is because of his own doings, and if someone cannot achieve success but suffers failure, it is also caused by his doings and is not affected by any other factors.” Whether I will succeed in believing in God is directly connected with whether I perform my duty faithfully and whether I pursue the truth and pursue to be transformed. The commission is a way for God to perfect me. God gives me the commission in order to let me pursue the transformation of my nature to be saved.
Under God’s inspiration, the ignorant I was aroused at last. O God! I will no longer shirk the commission for fear of being exposed. I will treasure the commission given by you, live up to your intention, do my best to be faithful, try to know myself, pursue the truth, and walk the path of being transformed in nature, so as to be compatible with you soon.
Shuozhou City, Shanxi Province