This April, I began to perform the duty of hosting. At first, I thought that doing hosting was nothing difficult for me: Isn’t it just to cook meals? A period of time later, however, my inner corrupt nature was manifested.
One day about noon, I was busy cooking the meal in the kitchen by myself when suddenly there was a power failure. At this time, I wanted very much to ask the brothers and sisters to come and give me a hand. Though I knew that the brothers and sisters had their duties and were busy with their work and that I should not have extravagant desires in performing my duty, yet a sense of dreariness still welled up in my heart: I wonder when God’s work will be concluded. I have to cook every day; when is the end? Am I destined to be a cook all my life? Can’t my function be changed? If I can go out to preach the gospel, do a little greater work, or perform some special function, won’t I be able to satisfy God better? … Then, I remembered a hymn of God’s word: “You know what I can do and even more know what function I can perform. … I only wish I can do things according to your mind and according to your will. I am willing to drink your cup.” O God, what I can do you know, and what function I can perform you know. I should not have complained against you and should not have had extravagant desires. I know that your intention is good and kind and your arranging such a circumstance is the best thing I need, but I do not understand what you are to perfect in me. May you inspire me in this matter.
Under God’s inspiration and guidance, I thought of Peter’s experience. Peter paid attention to satisfying God in reality and did all he could to satisfy God in his real life. He pursued to satisfy God in the small matters in his living, making requirements of himself strictly according to God’s requirements. But I, who follow the Practical God today, always wanted to run away from reality, dreaming to do great work to satisfy God some day. In my real life, however, I was unwilling to fulfill my duty. In the exposing of the fact, I have seen that I was pursuing not in a practical way but in my imaginations and notions. O God, thank you for arranging such a circumstance to expoe me and also to make me know myself. Without your such work, I would not have known what reality is nor known how to love you. Although buying vegetables and cooking meals is just a simple thing, it can reveal whether I am willing to obey you and whether I can be faithful. O God, today I have understood your intention. You let me do hosting not simply for me to cook meals, but through my performing duty you want to perfect me and make me learn to satisfy you in the real circumstances. O God, your work is so wise. From now on, no matter what circumstances you arrange for me, I am willing to obey your arrangement, do what I should do, and do what I can do. I only desire to do my best in my duty, for this is what I, a created being, should pursue to do.
Xinzhou City, Shanxi Province