I Found the Cause of My Unharmonious Coordination with Others
Last year, I coordinated with a sister to perform a duty. The sister was an introverted and silent person. She was sharply different from me in character and temper and we both were also obviously different in life habit and the way of working, and hence her every act and move was disagreeable to me. She didn’t like to speak much, so I felt she was not straightforward. She was in no hurry doing things, so I felt she was too slow and held things up. She worked methodically, and I felt she was overly fussy and was wasting time…. In a word, I was uncomfortable with everything she did from the bottom of my heart and I always required her according to my own ideas. As a result, she was restrained by me and lived in a passive state. Later, an atmosphere of death was always between the two of us and we couldn’t work normally at all. At that time I knew I had manifested corruptions, but I thought that that was reasonable because we both had sharp contrast in character and temper, and that if she was replaced by a person of the same character as mine, I could surely live in harmony with her.
Later, God’s family assigned a sister of the same character as mine to coordinate with me. I thought, “Now, there won’t be so many troubles. I’m sure that I can coordinate harmoniously with her and together perform the duty properly.” However, the good time didn’t last long. Gradually, I didn’t like this sister either. She liked to talk and laugh, so I felt that she was too showy and not reserved. She had a short temper and acted quickly, so I complained that she was not stable and inexperienced…. In a word, no matter how I looked at the sister, I felt she was disagreeable to me. Being with her, I always showed my bad mood in spite of myself and gave her the cold shoulder, and also, I spoke militant words. Sometimes, I even was at daggers drawn with her because of a word. Finally, our relationship went to an explosive point, and even worse, our work was in a complete mess.
Facing such a helpless situation, I began to ponder: Why did I always fail to coordinate with others harmoniously? In the past, I did not coordinate well with a sister of different character and I ascribed that to our sharp contrast in character. Now I can’t be in harmony either with this sister of the same character as mine. What’s the cause for this then? So I began to recall the scenes of my being with these two sisters. As to the introverted one, I complained that she was not straightforward, and as to the extroverted one, I grumbled that she was showy. As to the one who acted slowly, I felt that she held things up, and as to the one who acted quickly, I thought that she was not stable, and so on. At that moment, a passage of words in the man’s fellowship clearly appeared in my mind: “Because of being self-important, self-conceited, and supercilious, an arrogant person is unkind to others, does not treat others equally, and always cannot live in concord with others. …a person with an arrogant nature always thinks that he is better than others and no one else is as good as he is. He is blind to others’ strong points or virtues. Even if he sees some, he will not be convinced and even attack and belittle them. As for others’ defects or shortcomings, he spots them very clearly…. A person with arrogant nature is always extremely conceited, and he likes to be self-centered and have everyone respect him and run around him….”
Those words made me wake up completely. Now I knew that I had no harmonious coordination with others and this was not because we were different in character or temper, but because I was too arrogant by nature and had no humanity and reason. I always wanted others to take me as a center, to run around me, and I always measured and required others according to my own viewpoints. Once I found what others did was against my imaginations, I fixed my eyes on others’ “defects and shortcomings,” tried to find fault with them, belittled and condemned them at will; I could not treat them properly at all and never showed them any patience or tolerance. When I encountered things, I never examined myself or knew my corrupt nature, but allowed my own nature to act wildly, gave others the cold shoulder, and attacked and hurt others by harsh words. I was at daggers drawn with others just because of a word, and I never cared about others’ feelings or considered what loss my improper coordination might bring to the work of God’s family. I was so arrogant that I didn’t have any humanity. What I actually lived out was the image of satan, the devil, and I could only bring pains to others by my corruptions. So how could I not be hated and loathed by God? And how could I receive God’s blessing to do the work well? What’s more, today God comes to do his work in order to transform man’s old nature rather than man’s character. Whether one is quick or slow in character isn’t a serious fault. If one’s corrupt nature is not transformed, he cannot have harmonious coordination even if he coordinates with someone whose character and temper are very harmonious with his, for his corrupt nature is rooted in him.
Thank God for arranging such circumstances for me and giving me a lively lesson of “harmonious coordination.” In getting along with others in the future, I will never again look for external causes to yield to myself; I will only pay attention to knowing my arrogant nature, pursue the transformation of my nature, and strive to be a person who has the truth and humanity.
Zhengzhou City, Henan Province