Some time ago, because of persecution the leader assigned me to stay temporarily at home to preserve the circumstances. Thus, I could no longer often contact the brothers and sisters. As I faced family, flesh, and worldly temptations every day, my heart was involuntarily attracted by these worldly things. Gradually, I sank into the flesh and lost my normal relationship with God. My state became worse and worse, and sometimes I even had the thought of forsaking God. Then I could not help complaining: It’s caused by the leader that I have fallen into such a state today. I’m put in such circumstances and can’t contact the brothers and sisters; could I not become passive? Even if I give up my belief, it isn’t my fault.
When I was full of complaints and wanted to abandon myself to despair, one day in a communication article, I read about a brother who also stayed at home because of persecution. He was also very weak at first, but later through eating and drinking God’s word, he understood God’s intention, knew his own corruption, and then came out of his passive state. After reading the article, I sank into deep meditation: In the same circumstances, he could rely on God’s word to go forward, but why have I become more and more unrestrained and fallen?
Suddenly, I remembered God’s words: “You should know that if someone can achieve success, it is because of his own doings, and if someone cannot achieve success but suffers failure, it is also caused by his doings, not by any other factors.” “Whether you will be perfected or eliminated depends on your own pursuit. That is, ‘Whether one will succeed depends on the path he walks.’”
Under the inspiration of God’s words, I woke up: Yes, whether one will succeed depends on the path he walks, and whether one will be perfected or eliminated depends entirely on his own pursuit and is determined entirely by his own doings; there is no other factor to influence them. Today, God has put me in such circumstances in order that I can learn to live independently, learn to seek and rely on God in everything, overcome satan’s temptations under God’s leading, and walk properly the path I should walk. No matter what circumstances God puts me in, his purpose is to perfect and transform me and give to me according to my deficiencies. If I pursue the truth, in any circumstance there are lessons I should learn and enter into. However, I did not understand God’s intention. After God’s family assigned me to preserve the circumstances at home, because I had no burden for my life, did not pursue the truth, and indulged my flesh, my state lowered, my relationship with God became more and more distant, and I completely fell under the power of satan. Yet, I, foolish and ignorant, blamed all this on the leader. I was really absurd and unreasonable!
O God, thank you for your timely inspiration. It has enabled me to know my absurdness and ignorance, and even more understand that whether I will succeed depends entirely on my own pursuit and there is no other factor to influence it. In future, no matter what circumstances you may arrange for me, I will never make complaints again. I will pursue the truth, pay attention to my life entering, and fulfill my bounden duty to comfort your heart.
Linyi City, Shandong Province