Not long ago, I was unexpectedly told that in the district I am in charge of, several brothers and sisters were deceived by a false christ. In spite of myself, I was filled with grumbles, “What’s wrong with you leaders below? I talked about the truths in this aspect in several meetings; how come this incident has still happened? Damn it. I emphasized the precautions in each meeting but each time you did not carry out them properly. Now such a serious thing has happened; I’ll see how you will give an account to God.” While I kept on complaining about the brothers and sisters below, my leader came to see me. When I told the leader about the incident, however, the leader said, “The work is in such a state, and this is directly connected with you. …” Hearing this word, I said nothing, but in my heart I was quite resistant: How could you say so? I’ve been up to my neck in the work every day, and I’ve fellowshipped what I should fellowship and done what I should do. How could you put the blame on me? Don’t you wrong me?
When I was resistant and discontent within, a passage from the man’s fellowship rang in my ears: “God works in a most practical and pragmatic way, so we should also be practical and pragmatic. Regardless of how fine one’s words sound and how accurately he goes through the process, we only see whether he still has perfunctoriness and deceitfulness and only examine the results he achieves. …there is no other criterion of performing duty; achieving results is the sole criterion of performing duty properly. Whether it be leading the church, ministering and working, doing hosting, or preaching the gospel, the only criterion for measuring these works is their results. Whatever duty a man performs, as long as he achieves proper results, he is one who meets the criterion of performing duty. If he still performs duty perfunctorily and deceitfully, he is certainly one who does not meet the criterion.” Instantly I felt ashamed and guilty. The sole criterion of performing duty properly is achieving results. However, I obstinately considered that, since I had fellowshipped what I should fellowship and done what I should do, I had fulfilled my duty. I thought that those brothers and sisters were deceived by the false christ because the leaders below me had not carried out the precautions properly, and it had nothing to do with me. In fact, I have long lived in a wrong state. But I never examined my mentalities and motives with which I did the work at ordinary times, so how could I realize my own problems? On reflection, each time I carried out a work, didn’t I simply want to finish the task and give a report to man? Like a mouthpiece, I just conveyed to the leaders below me the message I received in the upper-level meeting; I never cared whether they could accept and understand it or whether it could achieve results. Even if I went to the grass roots, I did it toward man for fear that when my leader asked about the work in detail I could not give a report to her. Thus, I reluctantly observed a regulation and went through the process. When I found problems, I only fellowshipped about them superficially and never gave a careful and thoughtful fellowship according to people’s respective qualities and situations. And I never inquired conscientiously about what other difficulties they had in the work that needed me to help solve, much less did I grasp the degree of their life entering. I worked with such a mentality, so how could I carry out the work properly? And how could I achieve good results? Then, isn’t it because I had no place for God in my heart and worked perfunctorily and deceitfully that some brothers and sisters have gone astray today?
Under God’s exposing and inspiration, I fell down before God and confessed to him: O God, I am too disobedient and have grieved you too much. It is I who have brought a great loss to the life of those brothers and sisters, yet I not only did not know myself but shifted all the blame on others. When the leader reminded me of it, I even felt deeply wronged. I was so ignorant of myself. I had no place for you in my heart and had no criterion or yardstick in performing my duty, working completely according to my own will. If I continue like this, I will not only draw ruin upon myself but also bring irreparable losses to the life of more brothers and sisters and to your work. How terrible that will be! O God, thanks to your exposing and inspiration, I have known my real state, seen my filthy and corrupt satanic nature that disobeys and resists you, and known the criterion and yardstick of performing duty. I have also seen your love and salvation to me, and even more received an opportunity to repent and be transformed. O God, thank you for saving and tolerating me. I will try my best to get back the brothers and sisters deceived by the false christ. Even more, I will repent and start a new life, and spend a great effort on the truths concerning knowing myself. In working, I will no longer go through the motions toward man, but will do more practical and careful work toward you in a down-to-earth manner. I will strive to achieve good results and spare no effort to fulfill my duty as a created being to comfort your heart.
Linfen City, Shanxi Province