Once, because another small district was carved out, we needed to select one more small-district leader. A sister asked me what kind of person was eligible to be used. I answered without thinking, “Anyone can be used who can achieve results in the gospel work.” Then she recommended a church leader to me, saying that this person was effective in managing the gospel work. When I met with this church leader, I asked her directly, “Are you afraid of the hardships and difficulties in doing the gospel work?” “No!” Hearing this, I was very pleased, and I immediately made a decision, “Good! I use you. How many people do you plan to gain this month?” “200.” By the end of the month, she failed to gain 200 people, but among all the small districts that I took care of, her small district gained most people. When I went up to a fellowship meeting, I told the sister in charge of the work the matter of my selecting the small-district leader, thinking that she would give me some compliments. But unexpectedly, instead of praising me, the sister gave me a rebuke, “You violated the work arrangements and selected people according to your own ideas. You are too arrogant!” At her words, I said nothing, but in my heart I was not at all convinced: What harm is there in being able to gain people? Didn’t you talk with us every day about the results? Now I have managed to promote a person who does the gospel work effectively, but you should say that I followed my own ideas and was too arrogant. Anyway, you are the leader and whatever you say is right.… The more I thought, the more distressed I felt, and the more I thought, the stronger my counter-emotion became.
Because I was too arrogant and self-right, I didn’t take the leader’s words of reproach to heart at all. I thought, “You say whatever you like, and I will use people as I please.” Before long, I again selected a person as a small-district leader according to how many people she gained. After a period of time, however, the former small-district leader I selected was replaced because her humanity was too bad. The latter small-district leader not only failed to promote the gospel work, but her leading even caused many people in the churches to drop out; the churches were made in a state of disunity. I paged her, but she didn’t call me back. At last, I found her with great difficulty, but when I pointed out her state, she said, “I quit. Get someone else to do it!” After she left, her two assistants also said that they wanted to quit. I was stunned. Through my fellowship, they two told me the reason. They said that the small-district leader asked them to give up their duties together with her, by which she wanted to make me suffer. When I met the second-line director, he also said that he would quit. Seeing such a situation, I was distressed to the extreme and could not hold back my tears, which kept streaming down.
In remorse, I involuntarily remembered these words in The Manual of the Principles for the Church Work, “To do the work of serving God is not to do the work of your own but to do the work committed by God. Since you do the work committed by God, you must do it according to God’s requirements so that you can satisfy God’s heart’s desire. … Now there are many leaders who still do not understand this principle. Such people are really ignorant and senseless people. If you do the work of God’s family according to your own ideas, you will definitely disrupt God’s work and can never achieve the results God requires. If you work that way, won’t you become one who serves God and yet resists God?” Against the work arrangement, I saw that I was just such a person who served God yet resisted God. I did the work committed by God, yet I didn’t do it according to God’s requirements but acted willfully and recklessly according to my own ideas. The work arrangement says that when selecting people as leaders we must select those who have a good humanity, receive the truth in a pure way, and can accept the truth.… But I didn’t consider these things at all. I put the work arrangement aside and used people according to my own ideas, only selecting those who gained most people. When the sister in charge of my work pointed it out to me, I even disagreed and resisted and still went my own way. As a result, the tragic consequences of today have been caused and a great loss has been brought to the church work, and I have become a person who disrupts God’s work and resists God. O God! At this moment I feel that I really have no face to come before you. I am so arrogant and self-right by nature, and always do the work according to my own ideas. Today, before the facts, I have seen the serious consequences of using people against the work arrangements and according to my own ideas. From now on, I will take this as a warning; no matter what work I do, I will practice strictly according to the work arrangements and will never again work according to my own ideas.
Fuyang City, Anhui Province