In January 2003, God’s family assigned me to go around watering the churches. As I was seldom at home, my family began to persecute me. Nevertheless, I still rushed out by relying on my zealousness. However, although I myself was out, my heart was always restrained. Every time after I visited the church, before arriving home, I became uneasy in my heart, imagining the scene of quarreling after my return. For this reason, my spirit always could not be released, and I felt it was so hard and difficult to believe in God.
Once at a meeting, I opened my heart to fellowship with a sister about my states and difficulties. After hearing my words, the sister fellowshipped with me: “Auntie, can we come out of them by ourselves? Only God is our support! Why don’t you pray for these difficulties and commit them to God? …” I said disapprovingly: “God asks us to lay aside our families, and we just try to lay them aside. Is there any need to pray?” The sister continued, “After you go home, spend more time reading God’s words about prayer and you will understand.” What the sister said reminded me. As soon as I got home, I took out The Summary of Christ’s Preachings and Conversations and read these words of God: “The strength that the working of the Holy Spirit gives man, man can never enjoy the last of it! If you do not rely on this strength but toughen your scalp and stiffen your neck to walk or walk by relying on your own perseverance and will, how far can you walk? You will tumble and fall before you walk long or walk far. That strength will disappear as you walk. Man should always keep in contact with God….” Having read God’s words, I understood this all at once: Actually, I often became passive and weak and lived all day in the fleshly difficulties and sufferings just because I was too short of prayer. I always relied on my own strength but never looked to God and relied on God to solve my passive state, so I could never come out of it. Now I have realized that, without prayer and by relying on my little zealousness, I have no way to transcend the dominion of my family. Even if I have a little outward cooperation, it will not last long, and I will still become weak and fall. Only by praying to God and genuinely looking to God and relying on God, can I free myself from the dominion of my family and have the strength to overcome satan’s power of darkness, because our faith, love, and courage all come from God.
Under God’s inspiration and guidance, I understood the importance of prayer. So, whenever I felt dominated by my family and became passive and weak, I committed my practical difficulties to God. Every time after I prayed earnestly this way, I had in my heart an unfailing strength supporting me, so that I was full of confidence, feared no more, and felt dominated no more by the people, matters, and things of my family. Even more, I no longer felt that believing in God was an afflicting thing; on the contrary, I felt that God is very lovely and that I was increasingly unable to stay away from God. Only then did I truly experience that prayer is so important and that only through prayer can I break free from the besiegement of satan’s power, be released in my spirit, and have ways to go forward.
Laiyang City, Shandong Province