At a recent meeting, in light of our states our leader fellowshipped about some truths that we should enter into at present. Thanks to the special inspiration of the Holy Spirit, we all felt the fellowship very enjoyable and releasing; not only were some of our passive states resolved, but we were quite clear about the truths that we should enter into in future.
After that meeting, I lost no time in gathering the church leaders, intending to fellowship with them about what I had received in that meeting. In the meeting, however, no matter how hard I fellowshipped, I could not find the feeling and atmosphere in that meeting with my leader. Whichever aspect of the truth I talked about, the church leaders appeared very inactive. And my fellowship also became more and more insipid. Then my heart was full of complaints: How come you are so numb? Your brains seem to be blocked. My fellowship is so clear; how come you can’t understand it?
Faced with the embarrassing situation, I had to cry out to God inwardly, “O God, at this moment I’m willing to cooperate with you, but I don’t know why our meeting can’t receive the leading of the Holy Spirit. May you inspire and guide me so that I can know my wrong state and turn myself around.” After prayer, I remembered a passage of God’s word: “…you have to know the many objective difficulties people have. You cannot reproach them arbitrarily or make them do what is entirely beyond them. That is an expression of foolishness. To resolve people’s many problems, you have to understand the movement of the working of the Holy Spirit, understand how the Holy Spirit works on different people, know their difficulties and defects, and discern the cruxes of the problems and grasp their roots, without deviation and erroneousness. Only thus will you be a qualified person of serving in coordination.”
God’s words made me feel enlightened all at once. Our meeting can’t receive the Holy Spirit’s working and the brothers and sisters can’t get any enjoyment; isn’t this caused because I did not understand the principles of the Holy Spirit’s working? The Holy Spirit works on people according to their different needs and their original qualities, and he does different works on different people in light of concrete circumstances. But I paid no attention to these. In the meeting, I did not first inquire about the actual needs and difficulties of the church leaders, even less know to fellowship about the truths according to their actual states. Rather, I only foolishly wanted to impose on them what I have received at that meeting. Moreover, I made too high requirements of them and painstakingly pursued a lively meeting atmosphere. Wasn’t I obviously practicing a religious ritual? How then could the meeting receive the working of the Holy Spirit? And how could the brothers and sisters have enjoyment?
At that moment, I saw my pitifulness of having no truth and no reality. So, I silently prayed God to work among us and lead and guide us. Then I changed the subject and asked the brothers and sisters to fellowship about their states and difficulties and personal knowledge in this period. Now the brothers and sisters all joined in the talk. In regard to the difficulties they each encountered, we fellowshipped about our respective views and knowledge. Then I fellowshipped about the relevant truths in light of what I had received when our leader had the meeting with us. In the end, this meeting achieved an unexpectedly good result and I myself gained a deeper knowledge of what I had received in that meeting.
Thank God for his leading. Through this experience, I have seen my pitiableness of not knowing the Holy Spirit’s working, realized my ignorance and blindness, and understood the principles by which the Holy Spirit works on different people. From now on, I will look to and rely on God more, and give more chances for the Holy Spirit to work. I will cease to fellowship mechanically, learn to suit my fellowship to differing circumstances in terms of persons involved, do all I can to solve the actual problems of the brothers and sisters, and pursue to be a person after God’s heart.
Pingdu City, Shandong Province