The winter of 2003 just set in and my legs began to ache. I even dared not exert much strength when walking and also had difficulty in going up or down the stairs. At such times, I could not help complaining to God, “It is just due to performing my duty that I have gotten this illness in my legs. If I hadn’t believed in God and performed my duty and run around, how could I have had this illness?” Thus, in the suffering of the ache in my legs, I kept complaining against and misunderstanding God, while I was totally unaware of it.
One day, a word a sister said in her fellowship reminded me: “Illnesses are afflictions from satan….” So, I turned to the 235th hymn of God’s word, “God Buys Mankind a Good Destination with the Price of Undergoing All Kinds of Sufferings,” and I read this: “Since men were corrupted by satan, they become more and more fallen, suffer more and more serious illnesses, and suffer severer and severer miseries. And they feel more and more deeply that the world is empty, the world is miserable, the world is unlivable, and the world is hopeless. All these sufferings are brought to men by satan. …” Reading these words, I suddenly understood that all illnesses in man are inflicted by satan and they are a means by which satan afflicts man. In the beginning, before Adam and Eve were corrupted, they in the Garden of Eden worshipped Jehovah, listened to God’s word and obeyed God. Their life was carefree and infinitely happy, without these afflictions coming upon them at all. Ever since mankind was corrupted by satan, man’s flesh has become more and more fallen, so there are pains, worries, and emptiness of the flesh, and birth, aging, illness, and death of man’s world; man’s illnesses have become more and more, and the pains of the flesh accordingly have become severer and severer. My illness was caused by my corruptions, and it has nothing to do with God or with my performing duty. God’s word says: “Actually, there was no barrier between the Creator and created beings in the beginning. All that is caused by satan. Satan disturbs man and corrupts man, so man cannot see or touch anything. …” Yes, I should not lay all this unrighteousness on God, much less complain against God.
Then, I continued to read the hymn, “To buy mankind a good destination from satan’s hand, God has to taste these sufferings personally and pay the price personally, so that men can completely return to him. Now God has undergone all kinds of sufferings in men’s stead and paid the price personally, which is a powerful evidence. In the future, mankind will have no more sorrows and joys and partings and reunions of the world, have no more griefs and worries of the flesh, and no longer undergo birth, age, illness, and death of the world, and men will completely belong to God and enter into mankind’s good destination.” At the time, my heart was deeply touched by the sincere and deep love of God. In order that mankind can come out of satan’s afflictions, God is incarnated personally to taste the sufferings of the world. These sufferings and illnesses are not what God should undergo. Because man himself cannot solve the problems of his own illness, worry, sorrow, and emptiness, and his birth, aging, illness, and death, God has suffered all the pains in man’s stead. In order to save man, to remove all man’s sufferings, and to give mankind the good destination, God saves man with the selfless price, bringing man into the good destination. In the future, man will no longer have sorrows and worries and no longer have birth, aging, illness, and death. How sincere and faithful this price is! God is so lovely, but I did not know God’s love or understand God’s kind intention, and I even complained against and misunderstood God. I was really too lacking in humanity.
This experience has caused me to see God’s sincere love for mankind and see God’s substance of beauty and good; at the same time, I have also understood that man’s illnesses are afflictions from satan and they are inflicted on man by satan, not caused by his performing duty. If today God had not been incarnated and come to the world to care for us who have been deeply corrupted by satan and to judge and save us, I do not know to what point I would have fallen. I will rebel against the old satan that afflicts us, stand firmly on God’s side, and fulfill my duty to repay God’s love, no longer misunderstanding or complaining against God to grieve God.
Hengshui City, Hebei Province