Once at a meeting, several sisters fellowshipped that the illnesses they had were all gone imperceptibly in the course of their performing duties…. After hearing that, I was very much disturbed in my heart, “Since I followed Almighty God, I have also been performing duty away from home, but my illness has not turned any better. Why has God graced them but not me? Am I not one of those God has predestined and selected? Is the illness God’s curse and punishment upon me?” The more I thought about it, the more distressed I felt, and the more passive I became. I completely lived in the misunderstanding about God.
When I was passive to a certain extent because of that, I read God’s words: “When God comes to earth to work, it is truly for saving corrupt mankind. Otherwise, he would by no means personally come to work. Before, he saved man by means of giving man all his mercy and love, even to the point of giving his all to satan in exchange for all mankind. Today it is different from before. Today when he saves you, it is the end time to divide people into their kind, and he does not save you by means of mercy and love but saves mankind more thoroughly by chastisement and judgment. So, all that you receive is chastisement, judgment, and merciless smiting. But you should know that there is not the slightest punishment in such merciless smiting. … You may think about this: If I had come with the intention of condemning and punishing you but not saving you, could your days have lasted for so long? Could you fleshly people of sin have lived until today? If my purpose were just to punish you, why should I do such a great work through incarnation? If I wanted to punish you nobodies, wouldn’t I just need to speak a word? Would I need to condemn you purposely before I destroy you?” “God works according to man’s need; he does not work aimlessly or speak aimlessly. God knows man’s need the best, and God sympathizes with and loves man the most.”
God’s heartfelt words made me suddenly wake up. Yes, if God were not to save but to punish me, would he have needed to give me this illness? Isn’t the life or death of me, a little creature, decided by a word of God? If God were not to save me, why should he have done so much work and expended so much painstaking effort and paid so much price on me? In retrospect, over the years of my following Almighty God, many times when confronted with the worldly encumbrances and the temptation of money, I wanted to leave God, but because of the illness I did not dare to leave; many times when I nearly offended God’s nature, because of the illness I had a fear of God and dared not act willfully and recklessly; because of the illness, I often came back before God to examine myself and thus gained some knowledge of my corrupt nature; because of the illness, I had some understanding of God’s love and painstaking care for me, and also somewhat realized the significance of God’s tasting the sufferings of the world through being incarnated…. In all these, wasn’t it because of the illness that I was greatly kept by God and also unconsciously received God’s blessing? God does different works on different people and works according to people’s respective need, because God knows best each person’s deficiencies and need, and only God knows what to do to better achieve the purpose of saving a person. Today, God has not taken the illness away from me and this is God’s great keeping to me. It can cause me to better walk the path of belief in God. However, I did not understand God’s kind intention; on the contrary, I misunderstood and complained against God. I really lacked common sense and broke God’s heart!
O Almighty God, thank you for your inspiration. Now I know that the refining of my illness is an expression of your righteous nature, and even more is your salvation of love for me. This is a special favor to me. From now on, I will not misunderstand you any longer. I am willing to submit to your control and arrangement, satisfy you in the illness, and testify about the deeds you manifest on me, so that more people will know your righteousness and understand your kind intention of saving man.
Linyi City, Shandong Province