During the years of my following God, I have given up my family and fleshly enjoyment and have been rushing about performing my duty in God’s family all day long. So, I thought that as long as I did not throw up the commission given by God’s family or forsake God or leave God’s family and followed to the end, I would be left and be saved by God. And I believed that I was walking the path of being saved by God and that all I had to do was to follow to the end.
A few days ago, however, in the fellowship from above “The Realistic Meaning of Being Saved by God,” I read these words: “To be saved is by no means as simple as people have imagined. People have to experience God’s word step by step, follow God’s work closely step by step, and finally gain the truth and the transformation of their nature so that they themselves can overcome satan and transcend sin by the truth. When people themselves can live by God’s word and completely obey God, it means that they have truly overcome satan and transcended sin. Only if one can achieve this result in experiencing God’s work does it mean he has truly been saved by God.” “On the path of pursuing the truth to be saved, there will still be many difficulties and dangers that people will have to face, such as family breakup, natural and man-made calamities, as well as all kinds of tribulations and trials. It will by no means be a smooth-sailing journey. Without the truth, one cannot stand, and the possibility of his rebelling against God is still one hundred percent.”
After reading these words, I felt as if waking from a dream. To be saved by God is not as simple as I have imagined. One has to experience God’s work and word step by step, accept God’s chastisement, judgment, dealing, and pruning, and undergo the suffering of all kinds of tribulations and trials, so that he can have true knowledge of his corrupt nature and gradually cast off his corruptions, and finally, in any environment he can overcome satan and transcend the power of darkness by God’s word, by the truth. Only when he has achieved this result does it mean that he has truly been saved by God. Considering my true state, I am still far from achieving this result. Many times, though I knew that pursuing fame and gain and position is not approved by God, I still went after these things, and when I failed to get them, I became passive and weak, lost the strength to pursue, and fell into darkness and could not come out of it. Many times, though I knew that while believing in God I should pursue the truth and repay God’s love and not make a bargain with God, yet when I saw that God’s day was slow to come, I became somewhat passive within, lost my previous enthusiasm, and began to perform my duty perfunctorily. When I met difficulties in the work, though I knew that God was exercising me through the difficulties, I was still full of misunderstandings and complaints about God, felt it too hard and tiring to believe in God, and always wanted to escape and even wanted to throw up my duty. Many times, though I knew that the surroundings and the people, matters, and things about me were all arranged by God to perfect me and I should seek the truth from them, yet when I encountered the people, matters, and things contrary to my notions, I always resisted them and was unwilling to accept them. When I saw that others had happy times with their families while I was rejected by my family and had nowhere to make my home, I often felt sad and distressed because of that, and several times I even thought of leaving God. … Nevertheless, I thought that I had already stepped onto the path of being saved by God. Judging from these actual states of mine, do I have any true stature? Even if I encounter a small trial or frustration, I am in danger of falling, not to mention that I can stand in great tribulations and trials.
Only then did I see that over the years of my following God, though I have not dropped out, I have not gained the truth and my life nature has not been transformed in the slightest. I still live under satan’s power of darkness, being fooled and controlled by satan. I am far below the standard of being truly saved, yet I thought that I had already stepped onto the path of being saved by God and that all I had to do was to follow God to the end. I was really too ridiculous and ignorant!
O God, thank you! It is your inspiration and leading that have made me see my true state clearly, and at the same time made me realize that if I fail to gain the truth and the transformation in my life nature, even if I follow you to the end, I will not be truly saved. From now on, I will treasure the precious time to equip myself with more truths, and cast off my corrupt nature through experiencing your work, so that I can live by your word and obey you completely and be truly saved by you.
Qingzhou City, Shandong Province