Some time ago, I learned that a sister with whom I was quite familiar had a traffic accident and was seriously injured. I supposed that her having this accident must be caused because she was arrogant and conceited and was disobedient to and dissatisfied with the leader and even said some resentful words. Then, I could not help but think: My fatal spot and many aspects of my corrupt nature all resemble the sister’s; maybe someday I will also… It’s really terrible! In future, I must restrain myself a little, refrain from speaking recklessly, and do everything prudently; otherwise, my end…
From then on, I changed my way of talking to the leader, and became cautious of doing everything, lest my nature break out and thus I offend God and be struck down. Especially when I walked, I was very careful. Every time I crossed a street, I palpitated, fearing that I would be hit by a car because of my momentary carelessness. Every day I had my heart in my mouth, and even when reading God’s word I could not quiet my heart. I was completely occupied by this matter, feeling that it was so dangerous to believe in God.
One day, during my spiritual devotions, I brought my state before God to pray and seek. Thank God that he inspired me by his words. God says: “If I had come with the intention of condemning and punishing you but not saving you, could your days have lasted for so long? Could you fleshly people of sin have lived until today? If my purpose were just to punish you, why should I do such a great work through incarnation? If I wanted to punish you nobodies, wouldn’t I just need to speak a word? Would I need to condemn you purposely before I destroy you? Do you not believe this word of mine?” “God comes this time not to strike men down but to save them to the utmost. Who can be free from transgressions? If all men were struck down, would that be salvation? … God means to save men, yet it’s impossible that men’s nature will not express anything. But you should repent and have yourself transformed immediately; thus, won’t you satisfy God’s heart? Some people do not believe this and always take a vigilant attitude toward God. Such people will suffer loss sooner or later.”
God’s earnest words aroused me, who lived in the atmosphere of death, and immediately I felt much closer to God. Only then did I realize that I did not know God’s will and misunderstood God’s kind intention of saving me. In the end time, God works personally and undergoes all kinds of sufferings through being incarnated, doing such a great work, with the very purpose of saving corrupt mankind; he does not intentionally come to strike man down. In the past, I had said so many words loathed by God, done so many things loathed by God, and had so many times of disobedience and resistance. If God had struck me down because of my disobedience and corruption, then could I have lived until today? Instead of treating me according to my transgressions, God gave me warnings, exhortations, and guidance, bringing me to the present step by step. Today when the sister had the accident, I, as a believer in God, should first be certain that everything was permitted by God and contained God’s good purpose; then, I should know God’s righteous nature from it and consider how to pursue to fear God, and at the same time put effort into knowing my corrupt nature and fatal spot and pursue to repent and have myself transformed immediately. However, when I encountered this matter, my first reaction was to preserve myself and assume a vigilant and defensive attitude toward God; I thought that God was a God who struck man down and that if one displayed corruption due to a little carelessness, he would be condemned and punished by God.
Through this matter, I saw that I did not know God’s nature, did not understand God’s intention, and did not know God’s love and salvation for mankind. If it had not been for God’s inspiration and guidance, I would still live in the guard against and the misunderstanding about God; and in the end, even if God would not strike me down, I would be eliminated because of not knowing God.
Thank God! No matter what comes upon me in the future, I will seek God’s intention on the basis of believing that God has the substance of being beautiful and good. I will put more effort into dealing with my fatal spot and do my utmost to pursue the truth and the transformation of my nature, so as to soon become a new person to comfort God’s heart.
Dalian City, Liaoning Province