I had been performing my duty in a gospel-preaching team all along. In the summer of 2003, because my legs ached, God’s family asked me to go home to rest for a time and come out to perform my duty again when I recovered. After I stayed at home for more than ten days, the pain in my legs was cured. But in order to indulge in the flesh, I did not want to go out to perform my duty again. So, I thought up a “brilliant idea”—to deceive the brothers and sisters by saying that my sore legs had not been cured and I could not go out to perform my duty.
Although I succeeded in deceiving the brothers and sisters, yet the Spirit of God searches everything, and before long, God’s nature came upon me. One day after supper, I suddenly got a high fever and felt weak all over. I lay in bed dizzy and did not want to make a movement. I immediately took some medicine. However, I did not feel any better; instead, my fever was getting worse and worse. I wondered: In the past, when I had a fever, I endured it for a while and then it was over. This time I have taken some medicine, but why is my fever becoming more and more serious? I couldn’t help feeling frightened. I realized that, because I practiced deception, I was suffering God’s discipline. So, in no time I cried out to God in my heart again and again, “O God, I will never again dare to deceive you like this. I know I’m wrong. I’m willing to rise to cooperate with you. I only beg you to forgive me.” After I prayed, gradually my fever dropped a lot, and the next day it was gone. But after I recovered, I was again unwilling to go out to perform my duty, casting behind the promise I had made to God. At first I was in dread, fearing that God’s nature would come upon me once again. But one day, two days, a week passed, and nothing happened to me. Then I became bold and thought: With my staying at home and not going outside, maybe God will not interfere. Yet, a few days later, something I feared still happened.
One afternoon, I suddenly felt my throat dry and sore, and it got worse and worse. And in the end I was even unable to speak. I tried shouting with effort, but could not utter any sound. At that moment, I sensed that God’s rod was approaching me, which caused me to feel an unprecedented fear: If I really cannot speak when I am so young, what should I do in future? I dared not think more and immediately prostrated myself before God, “O God! I’m too disobedient. In order to indulge in fleshly ease and comfort, I was unwilling to go out to perform my duty and told lies to cheat you time and time again. That this matter has happened to me today is your discipline upon me and is also the expression of your righteous nature. From now on, I will never again dare to deceive you.” After the prayer, I took out the book of God’s word, and I read these words: “I do not allow any created being to cheat me. Do you think that you can demand things and tell lies before me at will? Do you think that I have never heard your words or seen your deeds? How can your words and deeds not be in my eyes? How can I allow man to cheat me like this?” “And many people do not feel shameful for their evil, but on the contrary they go even further, completely and thoroughly tearing up their ugly face they did not completely expose to test my nature.” God’s words of judgment caused me to realize the seriousness of the problem and even more made me see God’s righteousness, majesty, and wrath. In order to enjoy fleshly ease and comfort, I daringly deceived the brothers and sisters and cheated God. When God’s discipline came upon me, I feared just at that moment and begged for mercy on my knees. But afterward, I continued to satisfy my flesh, disregarding God’s existence and testing God’s nature. I was really audacious and crafty to the extreme! If it were not for God’s timely discipline, I would care for my flesh again and again and continue my deception, and would eventually infuriate God and be punished by God. Thank God! It is God’s chastening and discipline that have pulled me back from the verge of death, made me know myself, and even more, caused me to taste God’s majestic nature that is not to be offended.
After I gained some knowledge of my disobedience and sincerely repented to God, I soon recovered from my illness. Then I returned to the gospel-preaching team, and I made a resolution: I will be an honest person and fulfill my duty faithfully to repay God’s love!
Linyi City, Shandong Province