At a meeting, the leader together with us read these words of God: “At every moment, examine your every word and every deed, every act and every move, and ideas and thoughts, grasp your own actual state, and thus enter into the way in which the Holy Spirit works. Only in this way can you have a normal relationship with God.” Then, the leader fellowshipped: “From now on, we should pay attention to grasping the emergence of our thoughts and ideas in our experiences and then solve them by the word of God. Otherwise, we will lose the working of the Holy Spirit and fall into an abnormal state, which will both affect our life entering in and hinder the results of the work.” Hearing that, I thought: Is it so serious? How can one’s thoughts and ideas affect the results of his work?
A few days later, it happened to be the end of the month, the time for reporting the number of the people gained in the gospel work. Our small district had fulfilled the gospel quota that month. Then the leader pressed on us the gospel quota for the next month. At that moment, a thought suddenly welled up in my mind: The quota for this month has been completed, but what should we do with the quota for the next month? Those whom we could gain have been gained, and the rest are all hard nuts to crack. Where else can we gain people? Then I lived in this thought. My will to cooperate became less, I worked the objects of my working not as hard as before, and my burden disappeared. Although I was still running around and working, no matter how I pondered, I just felt that we could not reach the quota. In consequence, the result of the gospel work had been poor in the first half of the month, and my spirit became darkened. But, I did not know what caused that. So, I came before God to pray. In my seeking, I remembered God’s words that the leader fellowshipped about at the meeting: “To know yourself, you must know your true state. To know your own state, most importantly, you should grasp your own thoughts and ideas….” “At every moment, examine your every word and every deed, every act and every move, and thoughts and ideas, grasp your own actual state, and thus enter into the way in which the Holy Spirit works. Only in this way can you have a normal relationship with God.” God’s words suddenly reminded me of the thought of lacking faith in God that emerged in me when the leader pressed the quota on me at the end of the previous month. Only then did I realize that my state was lowered and the gospel work was not effective, because I did not grasp the emergence of my thoughts and ideas and thus lived in a wrong state and lost the working of the Holy Spirit. God requires me to seize the emergence of my thoughts and ideas in order that I can better know myself, grasp my own state at any moment, and with an aim look for the relevant words of God to replace them, so that I can keep a normal relationship with God, avoid being fooled by satan, and guarantee that I have the working of the Holy Spirit accompanying me. Only in this way can I accelerate my life entering in and better complete God’s commission. However, I was arrogant and self-right, thinking that it was not so important to grasp my thoughts and ideas. Hence, when the thought of having no faith in God in the gospel work emerged in me, I did not catch the emergence in time and then look for the relevant truths to solve this state, but yielded to this thought and was governed by this thought in performing my duty every day. Consequently, both the work of God’s family and my own life had suffered loss.
O God! Thank you for exposing me with the fact and inspiring and enlightening me with the words, so that I have realized the importance of grasping my thoughts and ideas in my experiences. I will absorb the lesson of this failure, make a fresh start to cooperate with you, pay attention to the emergence of my thoughts and ideas, live by your word at all times, and no longer leave room for satan to work.
In the several days that followed, I prayed to God about the thought that showed I had no faith in God, and ate and drank God’s words regarding faith and readjusted my state. And then I immediately went to the objects of my working and fellowshipped with them, and cooperated with God by faith in the works of various aspects. As a result, we gained twenty-seven people in the second half of the month. Through this experience, I acknowledge with absolute conviction that dealing with one’s thoughts and ideas has a direct relation to his life entering in, the transformation of his nature, and the results of his work. It is so crucial to grasp one’s thoughts and ideas!
Tieling City, Liaoning Province