In the spring of 2003, a sister fellowshipped with me, saying, “Now, there are miraculous signs and wonders occurring in various places. God has already started to work in this aspect. And God’s family requires us to use the testifying articles about various signs and wonders, dreams, and visions to preach the gospel. We should actively cooperate with God!” At her words, I could not but have a notion in my mind, thinking: God has said that now is the Age of the Word. Isn’t it that he does not perform signs and wonders? How come
So I stuck to my own notion, believing it impossible that God would perform signs and wonders. And thus I wasn’t willing to cooperate in this aspect when preaching the gospel, which caused my performing duty to be ineffective all along. At that time, my heart was very worried but I didn’t know what to do. Finally, I even had no enjoyment in eating and drinking God’s word. I was listless and sleepy all day. And I always pondered in my heart: God has said that now is the Age of the Word and he does not perform signs and wonders. How come so many signs have been shown now? The more I thought, the more I got confused.
When I was most darkened inside, I read these words of God: “Those who have religious notions cannot follow the pace of the Holy Spirit’s working, and they will fall behind at every step if they fall behind at one step, because those religious notions cause them to become extremely self-right and arrogant.You hold on to the words God spoke before, so does it prove that you know God’s work? You cannot accept the present light of the Holy Spirit but hold on to the past light, so does it prove that you follow God’s footsteps? If you can realize that you should pay your most attention to God’s present work no matter what work God did before, this means that you are a person who drops his notions, who obeys God.” Against the words of God, I thought of my conduct and my passivity during this period. Weren’t they caused because I had a notion about God’s performing signs and wonders now? Then I remembered God’s words: “people always like to fix God on a point. Although they all shout that God is almighty and God is all-inclusive, their nature is still apt to circumscribe God to a certain scope. Everyone is resisting and circumscribing God while knowing God.” Thinking of this, I understood: Actually I have circumscribed God to his former words. I stuck to the former light, had a notion about God, and became a person resisting God, and thus I lost the working of the Holy Spirit and fell into darkness. Because of this notion, I became passive and weak, unwilling to perform my duty, and I almost rebelled against God. Notions really do great harm to man!
Thank God for his inspiration and guidance. If God hadn’t exposed me through this matter, I would not have known that I was a conservative person, who circumscribes God’s work and who resists God. God is ever new. In the future God will do many more works that do not fit man’s notions. If this notion wasn’t resolved, it would ruin me sooner or later. O God, I’m afraid. From now on, no matter how you work, I will follow your footsteps closely and submit to everything you do.
Xintai City, Shandong Province