Some time ago, the sister coordinating with me and I had some prejudices against each other. At that time I thought: “This little friction does not have to be solved by fellowshipping about God’s word. As long as I care for her more in living and go out with her for a walk, we’ll be on good terms again in a few days.” A period of time later, however, the prejudices and misunderstandings between us were not removed but deepened instead. Moreover, my state lowered day by day, and in revising the articles, I was unable to find the problems in them. The results of our work got increasingly bad. I felt I became further and further away from God, and I even could not quiet my heart when reading God’s word.
One day, in the piece of fellowship distributed recently, “Only If One Knows God’s Work Can He Follow to the End,” I read these words: “If one, when encountering problems, escapes from them or deals with them perfunctorily, he will only hold up the work and harm himself; he can never gain the truth, even less the transformation of his life nature. Seeking the truth to solve problems is the most practical life experience in one’s believing in God. Why is it said that this path is narrow? It is because one has to walk this path by relying on God’s word, on the truth, so that he can receive the working of the Holy Spirit and can achieve the purpose of being saved by God; except this there is no other way. If one deals with every problem apart from God’s word, he is not experiencing God’s word but deviating from the true way. This is the practice of an unbeliever. We see that many people have believed in God through all their lives but their life nature remains untransformed. That is because they do not seek the truth and do not solve their problems by God’s word. Rather, they solve their problems by satanic philosophy and human methods, with the result that they gain nothing. Although they have suffered a lot, they have not satisfied God’s heart; on the contrary, they have become more and more distant from God.”
Having read this passage, I woke up all at once. Ah, yes! In this period, I am prejudiced against the sister, and I live in satan’s fooling, which has affected the results of our work. Isn’t this caused because I dealt with the problems I encountered not by God’s word but by human methods and satanic philosophy of life? I was really too blind and ignorant and undiscerning. How could I truly solve the problems with human philosophy of life? And how could I have a normal relationship with God? I did not try to know myself and have myself transformed in the circumstances God arranged for me, but I thought that as long as I fostered a good fleshly relationship with the sister we could drop our prejudices and solve our problems. As a result, I have suffered much due to my ignorance. Not only has my life suffered loss, but the work of God’s family has also been affected. Now I realize that, even though I have temporarily alleviated the contradictions between us with the human methods and philosophy of life, these things have nothing to do with the truth, cannot solve the problems at all, and can only make me become more crafty and slick in associating with others. Only then did I see that though I followed God for many years, I did not have any knowledge of God or God’s word and did not take God’s word as the truth and the way and the life, so that I have not gained much transformation so far.
Having understood the truth of this aspect, I dropped myself and opened my heart to fellowship with the sister. Through eating and drinking God’s words, we both gained some knowledge of our own corruptions. And we were truly released.
Through this experience, I have realized the harm of solving problems not by God’s word. I have also realized that only if one seeks the truth and relies on God’s word can he truly solve every problem he encounters; otherwise, he will only live in darkness and have no way to go on. From now on, I will correct the deviation in my practice, make up for my deficiency, seek the truth in everything, and solve my problems by God’s word, so that I can truly enter the right track of believing in God.
Dongying City, Shandong Province