64. I See the Truth of My Corruption
By Li Heng, Jiangsu Province
Among the words by which God reveals man I found this passage: “It was previously said that these people are the progeny of the great red dragon. In fact, to be clear, they are the embodiment of the great red dragon” (“Chapter 36” of Interpretations of the Mysteries of God’s Words to the Entire Universe in The Word Appears in the Flesh). I thought these words of God were meant to reveal those atheist authoritarian rulers, because they stifle people’s thoughts and strictly forbid people from believing in God and worshiping God; they cruelly persecute God’s chosen people, they disrupt and destroy God’s work wherever they can, they do many wicked things and are perverse and godless, opposing God in everything. I, on the other hand, am a believer in God who fulfills their duty in the church, and even though I have corrupt dispositions, I’m nowhere near as malicious as them—how could I be the embodiment and child of the great red dragon? That was until I was exposed by God’s work, and only then did I realize that the essence of my nature was the same as that of the great red dragon, and that I was, without a doubt, the embodiment of the great red dragon.
There was a deacon in our church who was tightly bound and constrained by her family. As a result, she wasn’t conscientious in fulfilling her duties, and often she forgot to attend group meetings. I fellowshiped with her, saying, “You shouldn’t be so irresponsible or slipshod with your duties. You are a church deacon and you have responsibility for the lives of our brothers and sisters. God has entrusted you with such an important commission, and God will detest and hate it if you treat it lightly!” After I’d given her this fellowship, she not only didn’t accept it, but she also made excuses and gave reasons to refute me. I thought, “She is not at one with God. She can’t be someone God wants to save, can she? Surely she’s unfit for use by God, or someone who is revealed and eliminated by God?” I began watching closely for a replacement in our church. As soon as I found the right person for the job, I planned to get rid of her. But for the time being there was no one suitable, so my only option was to fellowship with her again. Afterward she came to understand that she had failed to fulfill her duty and was irresponsible and neglectful, and she wanted to atone for her past mistakes. But still, I always felt like it wasn’t enough, and I didn’t have much fondness for her after that. Once, I asked her to hold a meeting with a host family that was a little far away from where she lived, but she refused and was unwilling to go. The anger in my heart surged up when she said that. I thought to myself: “You are too picky in fulfilling your duties, doing what you like and ignoring what you don’t. You haven’t the slightest shred of obedience and you refute anything that’s said to you. The church has no use for people like you, and you should simply be expelled. In any case, you’ve brought this on yourself by not doing your duty properly.” Even though I knew expelling people arbitrarily goes against principles, this idea was so strong and it kept coming up in my mind, I couldn’t control it, and in my heart it troubled me constantly, and my state went into a rapid decline. In pain, all I could do was come before God and pray to Him, “Oh God! The sister is not listening to me, so I feel like I want to expel her as soon as may be. I know that this thought is wrong, but I can’t help it. O God! I ask You to save me and let me take the correct approach to this sister, and let me not do anything that defies You.” After I prayed, I was much calmer, and my desire to expel her wasn’t as strong as before.
And then a passage of God’s words arose in my mind, “The manifestations of the great red dragon are resistance to Me, lack of understanding and comprehension of the meanings of My words, frequent persecution of Me, and seeking to use schemes to interrupt My management. Satan is manifested as follows: struggling with Me for power, wanting to possess My chosen people, and releasing negative words to deceive My people” (“Chapter 96” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words shocked me. Was my revelation not precisely that of the great red dragon? The great red dragon, however, was capable of doing things which I had not done. I thought of how God performs His work of the last days to save man, and yet the great red dragon frantically suppresses, cruelly torments and persecutes God’s chosen people, doing all it can to spread rumors to vilify and discredit The Church of Almighty God and to disturb people from believing and following God, attempting to take away their chances to be saved, disturbing and interrupting God’s work. Wasn’t that exactly what I was doing? When I saw that my sister had some shortcomings, I didn’t fellowship about the truth out of love to help her recognize her transgressions, understand God’s will to save mankind, and be able to submit to God’s work; instead, I magnified and over-analyzed her shortcomings and I wanted to follow my own desire to expel her and destroy her chance to be saved. Wasn’t I trying to disrupt and destroy God’s work of salvation among man? Was I not indeed the embodiment of the great red dragon? In a sermon, I read, “See how the great red dragon persecutes God and how it cruelly harms God’s chosen people, then look at how you resist and rebel against God and how you are incapable of getting along peacefully with God’s chosen people. You are filled with grudges and are too selfish. How are you any different from the great red dragon? … Many people don’t recognize the poisons of the great red dragon that lurk within them. They always think the great red dragon is too evil, and that when they hold power, they will be much better than the great red dragon; but is that truly the case? If you took power this instant, how much better than the great red dragon would you be? Could you do so much better than the great red dragon? The truth is that the great red dragon holding power is no different than any of corrupt mankind holding power. If the great red dragon can kill 80 million people, how many will you kill when you hold power? Some say, ‘If I held power, I wouldn’t kill anyone.’ Just as you say this, someone will stand up and curse you, you will get furious and say, ‘Then I’ll just kill one, I’ll make an exception.’ When a group rises up to oppose you, you will say, ‘Killing a group isn’t much, the great red dragon killed 80 million. I’m only killing a small group, that’s much less than the great red dragon.’ When 10 million rise up to oppose you, you will say, ‘I can kill these 10 million too, because if I don’t, how will I hold on to power?’ Don’t you see a problem here? When you have no power, you do no evil, but there is no guarantee you won’t do evil deeds when you hold power, because man’s natures are all the same” (“How People Should Cooperate With God’s Work of Perfecting Man” in Sermons and Fellowship III). Through the enlightenment and illumination of God’s words and the analysis of this sermon, I finally saw clearly my true colors, that I was the embodiment of the great red dragon, and that my corrupt essence was no different from the essence of the great red dragon’s nature. When my sister didn’t clearly understand the truth and was slipshod and irresponsible in her duties, I didn’t help her with a loving heart at all, but instead I spoke demandingly to her with a forceful tone. And when she rebutted me and didn’t follow and obey my arrangements, I became angry and condemned her as someone being exposed and eliminated by God, evil intent arose in my heart and I wanted to expel her from the church. Wasn’t I behaving like the great red dragon, with its policies of “Exalt only myself,” “Those who obey shall prosper, while those who resist shall perish,” “Blow things out of proportion” and “Massacre the innocent”? These are all classic examples of the great red dragon’s poisons! The great red dragon massacres innocents and kills countless people; it has never had any regard for people’s lives, and if anyone doesn’t agree with it or obey it, or they offend it in some way, then it murders them. If I were in power, I would be just the same as the great red dragon, and there would be no evil that I wouldn’t do and I would be completely a law unto myself. Were it not for the work arrangements and principles laid down by the church keeping me in check, and my brothers and sisters supervising me, I would surely have long ago placed my sister’s head on the chopping block. From my own thoughts and ideas, I saw that, since I had revealed such things, then all I needed would be power and position to be able to do the same deeds as the great red dragon, that of massacring innocents. God’s enlightenment and guidance enabled me to know my own ugly and malicious nature and essence, and it was God’s judgment and chastisement which gave me the chance to repent. My heart was filled with gratitude for God, and I also came to hate and repent of my actions even more.
This experience gave me some true understanding of my corrupt essence. I saw that I was truly someone without reason or a conscience, undoubtedly the progeny of the great red dragon. But it also made me feel that no matter how piercing God’s words may be or whether they accord with man’s notions, every utterance is the eternal, unchanging truth, and sooner or later corrupt humanity will be utterly convinced. O God! I want to perform my duties well to repay You for the grace of Your salvation, I want to make peace with my brothers and sisters and make up for my past mistakes, and become someone new who comforts You.