One day, the church leader came to fellowship with me, and wanted me to join the second-line team to preach the gospel. I immediately said: “I won’t go to the second-line team. It’s a most dangerous place, where one is revealed fastest and thus be expelled soon.” The leader fellowshipped with me: “We cannot think this way. Did God’s family set up second-line teams specially for revealing and eliminating people? Hasn’t God said that he will never do anything to disrupt his own management work? Since God is to save people and perfect people, how could he specially set up a second-line team to eliminate people? Don’t we badly misunderstand God’s intention? It’s true that there are a few people who have been revealed and eliminated. But it is not that God intentionally revealed and eliminated them, but that they did not pursue the truth and had themselves eliminated. Hasn’t God said that one’s success or failure is caused by his own doings, without being affected by any other factor?” After listening to the leader’s fellowship, I thought: Even if it’s so, I still won’t go there. There are so many people in the church; why must you ask me to go? If I join the second-line team and fail to do the work properly and finally I am expelled, then I will be finished. So, no matter what the leader fellowshipped with me, I did not take anything in. I hardened my heart and went home.
After I got home, I opened The Summary of Christ’s Preachings and Conversations, and I happened to read these words of God: “You misunderstand God’s meaning, you do not believe God’s word, and you do not practice the truth and fulfill your faithfulness when performing your duty. How can you satisfy God’s heart’s desire? With such a practice, you even do not have the qualification to be a serving one. How could you have the qualification to bargain with God? If you think that God has no righteousness, why do you still believe in him? You always want God to personally say to you ‘You are one of the kingdom people and this will never change,’ and then you will work for God’s family. If God does not say such a word, you will never give your true heart to God. How disobedient such a person is!” God’s words of judgment directly pricked me to the quick. Oh, I thought that I would be revealed and eliminated soon if I joined the second-line team. Wasn’t this serious misunderstanding about God? Didn’t I want God to plainly tell me “No matter what duty you perform, you will be one to receive blessings in the future” before I would expend a little for God? If God did not say that, I would never expend anything for God. Could I be called a believer in God? In order to save man, God has been incarnated personally and has endured so many humiliations and sufferings. Could this most trustworthy fact not touch me, the iron-hearted person? Have I received little in these years of following God? Haven’t I personally experienced God’s work of salvation? To what extent do I want God to do his work before I believe that God has come to save man and not to intentionally reveal and eliminate man? God’s family uplifted me to join the second-line team and this was for me to get more opportunities to be perfected, but I was not at all grateful and misunderstood God’s good intention. I was too blind! I was unwilling to suffer to pursue the truth, yet I found many so-called excuses to dodge. How stubborn and disobedient and crafty I was! Having thought of this, I could not but feel extreme remorse: “O God, although I misunderstood you and grieved you, you used your words seemingly merciless yet more than merciful to wake me up. O God, your heart is so beautiful and kind and your mind is so broad! Your great love has made me prostrate myself before you. I will have no more misgivings; I believe that everything you do is for perfecting me. Though I am unable to do anything for you, I will do my utmost to cooperate with you and fulfill my faithfulness to requite your great love.”
Zhengzhou City, Henan Province