I Still Believed in God in Vagueness
After I followed the Almighty God and read God’s word, I knew that today God works and speaks in a practical way, leading people to enter into reality in everything. But in reality, I had no true knowledge of God’s practical work.
It is very normal that God’s family transfers people because of the need of the work. But whenever the work to which I was transferred was not to my liking, I could not obey in my heart. I felt very distressed over this, so I brought the matter before God and prayed, “O God, when you arranged for me people, matters, and things not after my heart, I always failed to obey you absolutely within. I hate my disobedient and corrupt nature, but I just can’t extricate myself. How I wish I would obey you like Noah and Peter did. Have mercy on me, care for me, and give me the truth of obedience.” After praying so, I believed that when I met such a matter again, God would surely keep me and make me obey. But before long, my work was changed again and I once more failed to obey absolutely. Afterward, I felt very bad: Alas! I disobeyed God again. Then I pondered: O God! I had prayed to you for so long; why did I still disobey you over and over again? Following you, I do not want to grieve you like this. God, you are almighty. Aren’t my mind and heart controlled by you? If you give me an obedient heart, won’t I be able to obey? A king’s heart is in your hand and you direct it like a watercourse wherever you please. How much more I, a nobody? Today I am still like this and cannot obey. Is it that you did not listen to my prayer? I was weighed down with anxiety and was puzzled about this matter despite much thought. Then, God’s words came to me: “Now everything starts from reality. All God’s work is most practical and is what people can touch, experience, and reach. People have many vague and supernatural things within them. As a result, they do not know God’s present work. So, in their experience they always have deviations and feel that it is difficult. All these are caused by their notions.”
Now I was suddenly enlightened. For such a long time, I always thought that I had prayed and sought and thus God should guide me anytime and make me obey. But I did not know that this is a vague and supernatural thing within me. I was really blind and ignorant, and I did not know God’s practical work at all. Having followed God until today, I still believe in God in vagueness. God practically arranges people, matters, and things to perfect men, and lets men practically undergo suffering and pay the price to cooperate with God according to the requirements of God’s word, so that men can gain the truth and the transformation of their nature. I, however, fancied after prayer that God would directly give me the truth of obedience, and so I simply waited for God to work, but I did not rebel against the flesh and practically undergo suffering to cooperate with God. When my fantasy was shattered, I complained against God and even harbored notions about God. I was really too foolish! O God! If you had not inspired me in time and I still continued to experience like that, I would only go further and further from you and my notions about you would become more and more serious. In the end, I would be eliminated by your practical work. Thank you, Almighty God! It is your practical work that has made me realize that what I believed in was a vague god, which was very far away from the practical God Godself. And it is your practical work that has led me out of the vagueness and onto the right way of truly believing in you. I am willing to cooperate with you, experience your practical work, and become a person who has reality and truly obeys.
Harbin City, Heilongjiang Province