When I heard that the gospel work would basically draw to a close at the end of 2003, my heart remained undisturbed like the water in a steady jar. I thought, “During the years of following God, I had heard things similar to this several times; but every time it was not fulfilled as I imagined. Whether the work ends or not, I will simply follow as I do now.” I saw the brothers and sisters around me all believed that and made the best use of their time to perform duties actively, whereas I was indifferent and still followed slackly. With me in such a state, it soon came to the end of 2003. The gospel work of God did not end as people imagined, but was still progressing normally. Many brothers and sisters became passive because of this. In contrast, I was very complacent in my heart, thinking it right that I had not believed it. But before long, at a meeting the brothers and sisters excitedly fellowshipped about what they had gained from God’s work of this time. They all said what God did was so wonderful that it had made them not only somewhat correct their viewpoints of believing in God and gain knowledge of their corrupt inherent nature, but also obtain profound knowledge of God’s wisdom, God’s almightiness, and God’s intention to save man, which further stirred up their heart to love God. I, however, listened aside like an outsider. Only then did I realize that I had been cast behind by God’s work.
After I came back home, I opened the book of God’s word and read these words: “No matter what God says, you just enter into his words. This is more beneficial to your life. Everything is for your nature to be transformed. … In the time of chastisement, some people thought it as a way to work and did not believe the words of God. As a result, they had not undergone refining, and had not gained anything or any knowledge when they came out of the time of chastisement. Some people did enter into the words without the slightest doubt, saying that God’s words were absolutely true and people deserved to be chastised. After struggling here for some time, they had dropped their future and destiny. After coming out of here, they had gained much transformation of their nature and gained a deeper knowledge of God. … Those who did not believe God’s words and those who paid no attention to God’s words had not undergone refining in the time of chastisement. Consequently, the Holy Spirit did not accompany them, and they had gained nothing.” God’s words made me realize more clearly that because I did not enter the work of God my life had suffered a great loss. Now I was no longer complacent and my heart involuntarily felt an extreme remorse. I hated myself for being so crafty and for thinking myself clever; I did not believe the work of God, so that I had lost many chances to be perfected by God. Today, God incarnate has come just to do the work of perfecting people by his word. He uses his word to try people, refine people, and purify people. Only by believing his word and entering his work can people be conquered, perfected, and gained by his wonderful and wise work, and gain the transformation of their nature and be saved by God. Those brothers and sisters who simply believed God’s words all entered the work of God. Although they had suffered from the refining and were once passive and weak, yet after they experienced that, they’ve made great progress in their life entering in. In contrast, I, who was arrogant and crafty, was blinded by my own satanic inherent nature. I did not believe the work of God but followed slackly, and as a result, I fell into my trick and became one outside the stream of the Holy Spirit in God’s work, and have not gained the truths that God gave people through such a work. Although we have been following God equally, those who entered the work of God have gained a lot, whereas I have gained nothing. If it were not for the guidance and inspiration of God’s words, I, an ignorant and blind person, would continue following in a muddled way and in the end would surely be discarded by God’s work moving quickly and powerfully. O God! Thank you that your love has not yet left me. I am willing to repent before you. From now on, I will do my utmost to pursue to be perfected by you and be an obedient and submissive person. I will believe whatever you say, treasure all the works you do on me, and keep pace with your work and step onto the way led by the Holy Spirit.
Shenyang City, Liaoning Province