In January 2003, God’s family distributed a piece of work arrangement, “The Twelve Requirements in the Period of the Tribulation.” After I read it once, I thought: Now, many brothers and sisters in the church are frightened when they hear about the circumstances being bad. If I fellowship about the “tribulation,” won’t the brother and sisters become even more fearful and passive? I’d better not do it. When I thought this way, I felt sharply rebuked within, and the Holy Spirit inspired me that I should absolutely obey the work arrangement from above and carry it out promptly. But, I, arrogant and self-right, still thought that to fellowship about it was not suitable and would cause the brothers and sisters to be more passive and timid. So, I only briefly read it to the brothers and sisters, as a mere formality.
On that evening, I suddenly got an unbearable pain in my abdomen, suffering from vomiting and diarrhea, and fell to the ground in a faint. I had always been well; how come I suddenly became so seriously ill? I had to examine myself. Recalling my attitude toward the work arrangement, I realized that God’s discipline had come upon me. Then, trembling with fear, I knelt down before God to repent: “O God, I did not have a heart of fearing you. I took the work arrangement lightly, disobeying and resisting you. This sickness is your nature coming upon me. Forgive my transgression. I will never again dare to treat the work arrangement lightly. …”
After praying, I opened The Summary of Christ’s Preachings and Conversations, and I read these words in the Fellowship of the Man attached: “For the words of God and the work arrangements from above, no matter whether one understands them, he should obey and execute them, and try to understand and experience them in his practice. The arrangements from God must never be checked or selected or decided by man. What is man? Is he qualified to be God’s counselor? Man is so arrogant and self-right that he has lost all sense of shame! Man is prone to do things according to his own ideas and cannot drop his notions and imaginations, so he will offend God’s nature most easily, and this is offending and resisting God most seriously. If one always sticks to ‘in my opinion’ and believes himself too much, he is a most troublesome person. Such a person is most loathsome and disgusting and nauseating to God. If a leader who is such a person does not have himself transformed, he will be bound to offend the administrative decrees and be punished by God.” Each of these words pricked my heart. Am I not such an arrogant and self-right person? I did not obey and implement the work arrangement from above but harbored resistance to it in my heart. I thought that the brothers and sisters feared persecution and they would become more passive and weak if I fellowshipped about the “tribulation” with them. And I shamelessly thought that I knew the states of the brothers and sisters better than anyone else, as if there were something improper with the work arrangement of God’s family. I was really so arrogant as to lose my sense! I little knew that every work arrangement is God’s requirement for man in a different period, and it embodies God’s kind intention and is most beneficial to the life of the brothers and sisters. Today’s “tribulation” is initiated by God and is also manipulated by God. Through the great red dragon doing a service, God reveals each kind of people, perfects our true faith and genuine faithfulness, and at the same time causes us to gain a true knowledge of the substance of the great red dragon. However, I did not seek God’s intention and lead the brothers and sisters to take advantage of this to equip ourselves with the truths so as to know God’s nature and God’s work; rather, I studied and analyzed the work arrangement according to my imaginations and treated it lightly. I was really bold and reckless! Today, in the exposing of the fact, I have realized that I by nature am so arrogant and self-right and am simply the expression of the archangel. I have also realized that such an inherent nature of mine is too horrible and dangerous and it may at any time cause me to do something of resisting God and thus offend God’s nature. O God, thank you for your smiting and discipline. It has caused me to have a little knowledge of my arrogant inherent nature and deeply taste that your righteous nature does not tolerate man’s offense. From now on, I will do every work committed by you with a heart of fearing you, seek your intention in everything, obey every arrangement of your family, be a well-behaved person, and perform my duty properly.
Wendeng City, Shandong Province